God's Greatest Wrath
by saichanlovestoad
Summary: Updated! Lydia's decision to be with Beetlejuice ends up being more then she bargained for. I can't really describe it without giving away the surprise, sorry. Rating mature as of chapter 5.
1. Chapter 1

A/N- I don't own any of these characters. The idea, however, is solely my own, although done at the suggestion of my beloved twin sister and my own twisted brain that never shuts off. So... yeah. Give credit where credit is due.

I dedicate this story to my sister **Kira Kei Jinx**.

This is my first attempt at this genre but I've watched some of the episodes and hope I get it right. If not, deal with it. Don't tell me the characters are OOC. I know. 'Kay? Good.

This story contains my favorite thing to do to boys. If you don't know what that is, check out my profile. I'm not saying it here cuz it'll ruin the surprise. You've been warned. No flames. Oh, and if my religious facts are a bit off, deal with it and don't comment, 'kay? I'm atheist and haven't been to church in four years. But if you would, message me privately with the accurate details. I do so love to learn about religion. (Ironic, no?)

Enough rambles. And if you like what you read, please comment. Encourages me to write faster.

Please enjoy. Lots of love, Sai-Chan.

* * *

He hadn't visited her in over five months. They had fought, yes, but to ignore her for so very long, it wasn't like him. She'd tried calling out his name, but she just received a shock as the door to his world didn't open. Somehow, it'd been turned off. It was as though their friendship had been turned off as well. A switch had been flipped. Instead of seeing his toothy smile when she sobbed his name, she saw her own reflection in the mirror that had served her effortlessly for so many years. For a while, she'd searched her entire house, looking for anything with black and white stripes, swearing up and down that he was merely messing with her and had appeared elsewhere to play hide and go seek. After turning over one of her mother's sculptures and finding nothing, she was forced to face that mirror and her image, not his.

To say she cried would of been the understatement of the year. She had sobbed endlessly, whispering his name over and over and over and over. All that came was nightfall again and again, leaving her lying there in a pool of black stained tears and her own misery. That darkness then consumed her. All she saw was black, the very picture of despair. Her best friend, her closest companion, her Beetlejuice had deserted her. Now she was alone, in her room, in her darkness, for all eternity, until she ultimately died and went on a never ending search of the Neitherworld for her friend. Whether she would find him there, she knew not. But all she knew was that life was no longer worth living. If she couldn't coax him out to her world, she would join him in his.

That's what was going through Lydia's mind as she stood on the rooftop of the highest point of her house, staring at the ground late one night.

But she wasn't going to jump. No. Beetlejuice had told her that those who committed suicide ended up working the desk for the new ghosts who came in looking for answers. She didn't want that. She wanted to go to the Roadhouse and curl up on his bed and await his return from where ever it was he was that was keeping him away from her. So, she wasn't going to jump. She was going to pace the railing and wait for it to break. She had no idea if it would, but she was banking that it would since the house was so very old. Then she would plummet to her death and die of a very tragic accident. She would be committing involuntary suicide, but that was enough to argue her way out of a desk job. After all, she had no real proof she knew the railing would break. It might not. It might. She might slip. She might fall into the attic and live. She might live through the fall. There were too many 'ifs' to be suicide.

She climbed up onto the railing, shaking violently from the cool winds. This was the only way, she knew. If she tried to eat contaminated food, it would be considered suicide or she'd only get very sick. If she tried driving recklessly, she could end up killing someone else and she didn't want that. If she tried messing with weapons, it would be suicide because one had to load the gun and pull a trigger or slit something deeply. If she walked in traffic, someone else could die. If she tried drowning, it would be suicide because the body won't let itself drown. The same with suffocation. If she tried overdosing, it would be suicide because she'd be trying to overdose. If she tried getting someone to kill her, someone else could get hurt or she wouldn't get killed at all and then they would be in trouble anyways. It could also take years.

Her death had to come swift, soon, and without causing anyone else death. It also had to be accidental and purposeful at the same time, with enough doubt that she could get out of that desk job. So, she took another step on the railing. It was iron, but rusty. Bolted to the roof, but loose. Able to support her weight, but hard to walk on. And it was the dead of night. Difficult to see, but not so much that she was walking in the dark. She was just pacing, she told herself, holding out her arms. She'd done this once before and fallen on accident. At the time, however, Beetlejuice had caught her from a very certain death. Thus, she kept repeating in her head that she was just trying to coax him out of hiding. If she wasn't thinking about dying, she wasn't trying to commit suicide. It was just a way to see her best friend and nothing more.

" And nothing more," she whispered to herself as she turned the side. The ground was straight down now, no house to stop her fall, " And nothing more," she repeated, fighting the urge to get down and hug herself. Instead, she just stood there for a moment, gripping at her sleeves, and cried silently.

A cold wind blew and leaves rushed past her, up towards the full moon. Lydia's eyes followed their journey to nowhere, her black make up running in streaks down her pale cheeks. They were lost, alone, being tossed around by elements out of their controls. Quite like herself. Lost without his guiding hand, alone without him, being forced to this by the mess of emotions he'd left inside her when he vanished. Watching them fumble around, she held out her arms, as though to grasp the hope for existence they seemed to have, the trust they had for the wind that took them from their homes. How she longed for that hope, that trust. How she longed to know where it was she was going, how long it would be before she reached it. How she desired to trust herself, trust that her will alone would lead her back to the man who'd loved her like no other, who she loved like no other. Watching the last leaves of the season disappear in the light of an unforgiving moon on that icy night, she felt her heart break and her body go numb. She frantically grabbed at that fleeting hope and trust they left behind.

And suddenly, there was no railing. She was flying, just like they were, swept up by the wind and the moon, being taken to her sanctuary, to her future. Her arms opened wide, her eyes turned up to the glowing moon and the tip of her old home as everything was consumed in the darkest of darknesses.

Death itself.

" Beetlejuice,"

Lydia was gone. She felt it, but didn't feel a thing. She was swallowed in a loving emptiness, still staring at her bare feet as she plummeted endlessly. Her head turned forward, looking back and down into the swirling red and black lights of this tunnel she was dropping through. Only, she wasn't dropping. She knew she was supported by unseen hands, she could feel them as she was taken through the worlds. Weightless and numb, all she could do was smile as a white light swam in front of her eyes and the tunnel began to vanish into that light. Her thoughts disappeared as she was thrown backwards into a pure white world on the other side of the Underworld and the hands let her drop. Her hands embraced the fall, her smile growing as the brightness did.

" Beetlejuice,"

Wind rushed by her as the brightness blinded her and she closed her eyes. When they opened again, she was falling past nothingness. There was no light, no darkness, nothing but the emotions that had consumed her throughout her life. She remembered things she'd never known she'd forgotten and knew all that she had been feeling when those things had happened. She was surrounded by this and cried out silently, her body tightening. But then it was gone and the nothingness pasted to everything. She was surrounded by all her memories, devoid of sound. They flashed by too quick to see, but she knew in her heart that she knew what she was seeing. Then she felt hands wrapping around her waist and she was pulled through a hole at the end of her memories. She hugged herself, drawing her legs close to her stomach, as what seemed to be water splashed all around and then fire dried it out as wind wrapped her up tight and then there was solid ground once more. Everything turned upside down, right side up, and her chest burst, her heart exploded, her head burned, and voices ran over her body like blood.

" Beetlejuice,"

The ground flipped, she was right side up again, and her eyes fluttered open. Lydia lay crumpled on the ground, but it was not outside her house. Instead, she saw dark wooden furniture and knew not where she was. Slowly, she sat up and drew her legs close. Bars were on the windows and doors, barely glowing blue. A clock with a countdown was mounted on the wall, marking three and a half months and so many hours, minutes, and seconds. A kitchen was to her right and a hallway was near it. A black couch was behind her, along with a wooden coffee table. To her left was someone with a shocked, but amused expression on his white face.

" Oh my God!! It worked!!" she exclaimed, hurrying to her feet. A wash of sickness ran over her, causing her to stumble and collapse in his outstretched arms. She smiled up at him, " I never thought I'd see you again, Beetlejuice..."

" What're you doing here, Lyds?" he demanded, steadying her. She looked confused, shaking her head, and standing on her own.

" I died... and I wished to be with you... aren't you happy to see me?" her voice shook uncontrollably, her hands grasping at her red gown. He drew back slightly, but didn't answer her question, " Why didn't you come when I called you? I didn't mean it when I said I never wanted to see you again! Surely you didn't think I was being se-"

" Babe! Are you kidding? I tried," Beetlejuice assured her, covering her mouth before she could say another word, " But... y'know... I was imprisoned and everything, so, uh, getting there was a bit of a problem,"

" Imprisoned?! For what!"

" Oh, this and that,"

" _Beetlejuice_," she hissed, hands on her hips. He tugged on the collar of his jacket, clearly considering whether or not to tell her. After not seeing him do something so, well, _him_ for five months, however, her anger quickly vanished. Instead, she just hugged him tight, burying her face in his chest, and giggling when she heard no heart beat. Now she had none either and that meant she could be with him, imprisoned or otherwise.

" Babe?" he didn't push her off, even though he sounded a bit annoyed. Instead, he ran his red tipped fingers through her messy raven hair that spilled over her gown, " Eighteen and you're still a clingy thing,"

" I missed you so much," was all she whispered as she raised up and kissed him sweetly on the lips. She tasted death and found it such a satisfying taste that she drew his curvy body closer. Her hands gently touched the collar of the suit she'd seen him wear for so many years. That gentle touch soon died, though, as one of his hands touched her lower back. Her nails dug into the cloth, her eyes shutting slowly.

The two ghosts embraced fittingly for their separation. Lydia jerked his chest to hers, making her swell of breasts squish. Beetlejuice held her steady on her tippy-toes as he gripped her black hair around his fingers. She could taste old death, he could taste new death. Years divided their ages, life had divided their lives, but death brought them closer then any moment on Earth ever could. Thus, in that barred, foreign prison, the two kissed as deeply and passionately as any two could. There was nothing that could put a stop to the love that flowed out of that moment as she tried to draw him closer then was physically possible. He allowed her to try, tilting her head to one side.

As Lydia slipped her tongue into his mouth, her hands drifted south. He ran fingers over the small of her back and she gasped into the kiss, mouth wide open. His snakelike tongue curled around hers playfully as her fingers began to unbutton the jacket he always wore. She felt the soft flesh of his stomach and felt herself giggling, her cheeks flushing red. His hands caressed her neck while she eased her arms under the jacket. She squeezed hard, their waists pushed together, and the jacket ran over her bare shoulders, forcing him to lean down into the kiss. Her back arched, her nails dug into his back, and his hands held her like that by one pushing hard into the small of her back, the other at the back of her neck.

That's when she felt it. Movement. Against her stomach. From inside Beetlejuice. That felt almost like kicking.

Her eyes snapped opened right before he jerked away from her. For a moment, she just stared as he cringed and buttoned his jacket over his curved middle, which, she noticed at that moment, was bigger then the last time she'd seen him those many months ago. The way he smoothed out his clothes was different as well, much more cautious then normal. Usually, if he straightened his clothes at all, he just roughly adjusted it. Now he ran his fingers over the fabric with the upmost care. That alone made her eyes narrow in suspicion, not to mention how big he'd gotten and the fact that she'd felt movement only seconds beforehand. It didn't seem possible, but there was only one logical explanation for such a dramatic change in his attitude.

" Beetlejuice... what was your punishment for whatever it was that you did when we fought?" her voice was steady, her composure calm. The fact that she managed to pull that off frightened herself more then it did the ghost in front of her.

" Uh... that judge said 'You shall suffer the greatest wrath of God', right before he locked me up in here," he said, avoiding looking at her magnificently well considering she wasn't even a foot away. Lydia covered her mouth in shock, her eyes widening as her brain rushed into overdrive.

'The greatest wrath of God' could mean only one thing. The punishment He'd given to Eve for corrupting Adam and eating the fruit for the tree in the garden of Eden. To be banished and given the agony of child birth. If her assumption was correct, and she was sure it was, then Beetlejuice had been banished from the Neitherworld and impregnated for whatever it was he had done. What he had done remained to be seen and how he had been impregnated alluded her, but she was certain this was the greatest wrath of God.

" What did you _do_?!"

" Uh... accidently destroyed half the Neitherworld with information I stole on accident while trying to um... destroy Mayor Maynot for giving me that punishment that prevented me from seeing you for so long that it started a fight between us?" he laughed a little, waving it off. When he saw her face, on the other hand, he got an annoyed look on his face, " _What_?!"

" And... and... y-you're... p-p-pregnant?" she stuttered out, pointing at his stomach. He coughed, blushing and rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

" Yup,"

" How?!"

" Lots of weird shit happens in the Neitherworld, Babe. It's neither here nor there and I can either be male or female... or both..." he shrugged finally, " Crazier things have happened. Like yer being here,"

" I died. It's only _normal_ I'd end up in the Neitherworld. B-but... you... you're... oh, Beetlejuice! You've certainly outdone yourself!" she gasped, turning away. A wave of dizziness washed over her and she stumbled back into him. He caught her as she put a hand to her head, " I can't believe I died for t-this..."

With that, Lydia's world went black once more. The last thing she heard was Beetlejuice shouting her name. Then there was nothing and she wasn't sure if she felt better that way or not. All she knew was that she was dead, trapped in a banished home somewhere in the depths of hell, and the man of her morbid dreams was imprisoned and pregnant. And all because she'd gone and gotten mad about not seeing him for a week. Even in death, she gave herself a headache.

* * *

Bwhahahaha. I'm so bad. But, I couldn't help myself. Sorry. No flames. You were warned.

Reviews are highly welcomed.

That's all.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N- Random note: This is the first Mpreg I've done that doesn't involve a yaoi couple. Oh, yay! I've stepped into yet another pregnancy genre.

Second random note: I do this to BJ because I luv him so very much. I only fuck with the ones I like. (gives the ghost with the most a tight squeeze) Pregnant Beetlejuice... whahahahahahahahaha

Please enjoy and ignore the psycho who writes this. Love, Sai-Chan.

* * *

Lydia twirled a lock of her raven hair as she laid on her stomach on a vast purple sheeted bed in a dark and dreary bedroom. Her ghost host was out in the front room, probably trying to give her space while she contemplated being the newly dead and condemned in the prison of her pregnant ghost boyfriend. Yes, she was elated that she was able to spend the rest of all existence and then some with the man she'd chosen over life itself. She was even blushing because the bed she was laying on was his. But, was she happy that he was pregnant as an unworldly punishment and her eternity with him would soon be punctured by the arrival of a new born ghost/ghoul baby?

She wasn't sure she'd ever seen herself as a mother, let alone the father, of a child. Of course, she thought children were something special and pregnancy was a wonderful thing. But to help raise Beetlejuice's child? When she wasn't even going to be having it? Well, she couldn't say she was excited about the idea. But, she thought, as she gave a sigh and slumped down, there really was nothing else to be done. She was to be a father in three and a half months whether she liked it or not. It wasn't her decision.

Sighing again, she heaved herself off the bed and slipped into the striped slippers beside it. Since she was only in her night gown, she also pulled on one of the infamous jackets in the closet to keep warm. The air had grown cold, or perhaps that was just her. Either way, she was shivering until she had the jacket over her arms. She buttoned it and relished the fact that it was incredibly warm, though it was very big on her and revealed most of her shoulders anyways. Ignoring that fact, she left the bedroom, cuddling up inside his jacket for the very first time. A smile formed on her face as she stepped into the front room.

The countdown informed her that she'd been there for only two hours. She didn't think about how long it'd felt to her while she walked over to the couch. Beetlejuice glanced her way, smiling wide. She took a seat next to him, curling her legs under her, and adjusting the jacket she'd stolen. She inched closer and he put his arm around her still bare shoulders.

His touch alone was able to warm her from head to toe.

" I did some thinking back there," she muttered, resting her head on his offered shoulder. He nodded, " And... I was just wondering... are we going to be sharing a bed or is there a guest room I'm supposed to sleep in?"

" So, you're stayin', Babe?!"

" I did die to be here," she kindly reminded him, giggling softly. He hugged her tightly, causing her to let out a squeak and struggle in his arms. She couldn't get loose, however, and ended up just making sounds as the two toppled over and embraced in midair.

The sensation was unreal. One moment, Lydia was sitting on a slightly uncomfortable couch. The second, she was wrapped up in her boyfriend's arms and touching nothing at all. It was as if the world had vanished and only the two of them were left. They'd defeated all time and space and punishment and were thus suspended in the middle of the void that was what was left of the universe. She gasped at the feeling, her eyes closing and her hands grasping the collar of his jacket with all her might. The world was truly gone and there was only that warm feeling everywhere and the smell of death. And the soft movement of a child yet to be born. Honestly, it felt better then anything she'd ever felt before and she gripped Beetlejuice even tighter.

" Uh, Babe? Yer cutting circulation off to my head," his voice broke into her thoughts. Her eyes snapped open and she dropped to the ground with a loud thud and bang. He floated over her, laughing and pointing.

" Hey! Don't laugh! That was my first time!" she flushed red, gathering herself off the ground in a huff, " You've had more practice then me!!" he didn't stop laughing, so she marched off.

" Babe! Babe! Wait!" he choked out, fighting off laughter. She spun around and found herself within a foot of him again, " Aw, you're no fun. You gotta learn to laugh at yerself. And trust me, Lyds, you woulda been laughing if you had seen your face," he pinched her cheek while grinning mockingly. She pushed his hand away and jabbed her finger into his belly.

" I'll be laughing when you're nine months pregnant and the size of a house, okay, Beetlejuice? Will you?" she sneered, flipping her hair in his face as she headed into the kitchen.

" Touche," was all he said as he floated along behind her. Lydia did her best to ignore him as she went through the fridge and pantries, taking stock of what they had. Surprisingly, there was more then just jars of bugs and other creepy crawlies. When she asked about it, he rolled his eyes, " I'm pregnant, remember?"

" Oh... right... so... um... yes, what shall we do about that?" she questioned, hands back on her hips. He arched an eyebrow, laying there in the air.

" About what?"

" Well, surely you don't expect to just stay in this tiny place forever and be pregnant! That countdown says you're due in three and a half months!" Lydia declared, pointing violently towards the clock on the wall.

" And?"

" 'And'? _'And'_?! Beetlejuice!! You're going to have a baby in less then four months!! That means labor and child rearing and parenthood and maturity!! In this tiny prison! How can you be so damn calm about it!!" she shrieked, pulling on her hair. A second pasted in which they both appeared to be in shock over her sudden hysteria. Then he cleared his throat and tapped her on the head.

" I've had over five months to think about it, Lyds. Andddd..." he yawned loudly, " There's nothing to be done. I'm sure you'll make a great mother,"

" I'm not raising your child by myself! I'm not a housewife!"

" Oh, Babe, relax. Chill out," he snapped his fingers and she was suddenly very cold, even with the jacket on. Her teeth chattered as she struggled to say that wasn't funny as he snickered and snapped his fingers once more. She was back to normal, although not amused, " I'm imprisoned here until I suffer the greatest wrath of God. We'll just leave with the brat when it's born. Then we can go back home and raise the kid,"

" And how are we gonna do that?"

" Oh, y'know, this, that, babysitters,"

" You don't plan on being a father to this child, do you?"

" Look who you're talking to," Beetlejuice gave her his signature grin, to which she groaned and covered her face, " Don't worry about it. We'll still go on adventures and shit. We just get to carry an extra bundle. Ain't that what you girly types always want outta life? Er, afterlife?"

" _I_ am not one of those girly types," she promptly informed him, starting to make a bowl of spaghetti simply because it was convenient. He rolled over onto his side beside her, " _I_ wanted to die and come live with you and maybe, _maybe_, get married and have children. Only I always pictured myself as the one pregnant. Then I die and get here and you're already knocked up. And by the damn judge, nonetheless. You sure are shameless, you know that, Beetlejuice,"

" Sure am," he answered, grinning over at her. She moaned to herself, stirring the sauce as it was starting to boil. He seemed oblivious. Of course, that only added to her frustration.

" Stir this. I'm... I'm... going to get dressed for dinner," she said smartly, walking past her floating boyfriend. He shouted that she didn't have any other clothes to change into and she stopped walking, knowing that to be true. She'd died in her nightgown and ended up trapped in a place full of only her one and only's suits and whatever else he had on him. She felt a headache coming and rubbed her temples, glancing over her shoulder, " Then I'm going to act as though I'm dressing for dinner. It's... how I was raised... and I just need to be away from you, Beetlejuice,"

" Babes, you've only been near me for a couple minutes," he said, twirling the spoon. She stiffened, feeling quite unlike herself. She was confused, uncertain of what to do or even think. Finally, she just flicked him off and marched into their bedroom, " OH, COME ON, LYDIA!!! I DIDN'T MEAN NOTHIN' BY IT!!!"

" DON'T PUT ANYTHING THAT MOVES IN THAT POT!!! AND KEEP STIRRING!!!" with that, she slammed the door shut and dropped down onto the bed. Her hair bounced over her shoulders when she did and it spilled carelessly over the jacket she was wearing. The curled ends ran along the fabric like magic, blending perfectly with the black and clashing wonderfully against the white.

Lydia twirled a lock of her hair in her fingers. The way her locks acted on the jacket reminded her of her very relationship with the man whose jacket it was. In ways, they were the absolute couple. Ginger had said years ago, when they'd first hooked up, that they would win the Neitherworld's award for the perfect couple hands down. She'd been right. They'd won it the past two years without a competition. They were both morbid, wicked evil, creepy, and into the strange things. He was meaner, she was nicer, but that just meant they balanced the other out. They were always together, in his world, in hers, and in between. Best friends turned lovers and meant to be wed. Then, in other ways, they were the absolute worse couple. She had a sense of morality, he didn't. She wanted to do things on Earth, he was content with his station in the Neitherworld. At times, Ginger had flinched after seeing them after they'd spent an entire night screaming at each other over the same old things. They didn't fight often, but when they did, it sent the entire universe running for the hills as he threatened her and she shrieked his name over and over to disappear and reappear when she had a good come back.

But, she thought, smiling coyly, they always made up. And if there ever lived a couple that was good at making up, it was them. Romeo and Juliet had the tragic romance, Cinderella had her chance meeting love, Snow White had her prince charming with the magic kiss, Morticha had her doting Gomez, but not one of them ever fought. But Beetlejuice and Lydia did. And they won the title for the best make up make outs this side of the dark side of Hell or Heaven. They would whisper and kiss and hold each other and, after the first time, have the best sex two beings, supernatural or alive, could.

A giggle escaped her lips as she touched her fingers to them. A warm feeling had washed over her and caused her to burn bright red. If there was one thing she couldn't bring herself to admit to her friends or her parents or the neighbors, it was that she was no longer a virgin. It had been an accident, the best one she'd made in a long time. She'd bled all over his sheets, but he promised her he didn't mind. It'd been so tender, she wasn't sure why all the girls at school complained about it being so vile. Clare had declared herself practically a lesbian after her boyfriend had done her and literally ran off. All the others were the same, saying men were pigs and they couldn't believe they hadn't waited for marriage. But not Lydia. She smiled to herself every time she thought about that precious moment in time when she was first penetrated and gasped wordlessly while grasping Beetlejuice's blond hair so tight her nails broke her skin. And if that moment was a description of their relationship, it was better then the hair and suit, then her feelings themselves.

Perfect. Tender. Wonderful. Magical. And full of pain and moaning.

" Oh, what am I doing in this room? Am I an idiot? You _died_ for this man, Deetz! You fell off your roof for him! And," she got to her feet, stamping her bare foot against the floorboards, " It's Beetlejuice for crying out loud! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!"

Her boyfriend was suddenly standing in front of her, arching an eyebrow and twirling the spoon in one hand.

" You rang, Babe?" he cooed in a teasing voice. She clapped her hands over her mouth, very much glad that she hadn't changed or anything of the sort, " I think dinner's done, but, hey, you're the chef,"

" Get _out_! I'm changing here!" she barked, shooing him. He started to protest, but she cut him off by shoving him out the door, " Put dinner on the table. I'm changing and I demand my right to privacy. So you stay out there and do whatever it is you do when you're waiting for me," she shut the door before he could respond.

Quickly, knowing he wouldn't wait forever, she snatched up the nearest comb and ran it through her hair. As she did, she cursed herself for ever getting frustrated with him. Sure, he was pregnant. What did that truly matter? It didn't. She hadn't wanted to get pregnant at eighteen in the first place. So, why not Beetlejuice? If he was okay with it, she should've been too. Wasn't that how it usually went? If he panicked, she did. If he didn't, she didn't. That was just the way it went. He wasn't panicking, so she shouldn't of been. Besides, she scolded herself, stranger things had happened and what mattered was that she would now get to spend that eternity with her ghost with the most.

Lydia stopped fretting over her hair. Spend an eternity with him? That had been the plan, hadn't it? A smile crept across her face as she caught a glance of herself in the small mirror in the corner. She was a full grown woman in a red gown and Beetlejuice's jacket loosely hanging around her shoulders. If she had to say so herself, she thought she looked just damn fine in those colors. Her fingers ran along the cloth, her eyes closing and bringing to mind the man who wore that jacket. The man she loved more then life, more then living. She'd chosen him and she was wearing his jacket. The teenage symbol of every couple in high school.

But she wasn't in high school anymore. Her eyes fluttered open at that. She was dead. Her funeral would be in a couple days and the school would put up a memorial for the beautiful, but dark Lydia Deetz, who took her own life because, as her friends would tell everyone, her one true love, Betty Juice's older brother Simply Beej, had disappeared. A Juliet in modern times. Her parents would be devastated, the girls would coo over how in love the two had been and how they just _knew_ Beej had committed suicide too, like Romeo, and she would be put to rest. High school was thus a thing of the past. She was dead. Very much so. And that brought to life a new question.

What would she do for the next eternity?

Her mind was blank for a while as she stood rubbing her thumbs along the stripes of her boyfriend's jacket and said boyfriend shouted that dinner was served. Then, turning to leave the room and catching a last glance at herself, she smiled and hugged her hands to her chest. She burst out of the room, throwing out her arms.

" I WANT TO GET MARRIED, BEETLEJUICE!!!" she shouted, twirling around the front room. He stared at her, " I want to have a terribly dark wedding with black roses and red ones too. And I want a red gown with a long train and a veil for a funeral. You can wear your suit of course, but it'll have to be new. And I want Ginger to be my maid of honor. Do you think she'll do it? It's such a shame my friends can't attend, but it'll be beautiful. And I want it to be a night. Wait. A full moon, with a clear sky, in the dead of winter, ice cold out. Just like the night I died. Oh, won't it be so romantic?"

Lydia drew Beetlejuice into a deep kiss, jerking him down by the collar of his jacket. He struggled in the beginning, then just stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. Before they could go into the kiss more, she pulled away and spun around him, her dress swirling up to her thighs. He tilted to one side, checking for the hint of panties he knew was coming. When he saw the flash of black, he cleared his throat.

" Babes, don't I get to propose?" he suggested, taking her hand in both of his. She stopped on a dime, although her dress continued and swung around her ankles.

" Oh. I honestly didn't think you were going to,"

" Well, if _that's_ how you feel ab-"

" No, no, no! I'd love a proposal! When're you gonna do it?" she groaned when she said it, shaking her head and hand at the same time, " Never mind. You've probably been planning it forever. I'm so sorry, Beetlejuice. I got carried away. I should've just waited until you proposed like a proper woman and let you get ready for it. I'm sorry. Forget I said anything. I'm putting you on the spot," she patted his hand as he rolled his eyes, " You probably haven't even picked out a r-"

Beetlejuice got down on one knee, still holding her hand in his. That's when she noticed he was holding her left and he'd gotten a black velvet box out of his suit jacket. She stuttered for a moment as he snapped it open. A gorgeous red ruby glinted from where it was encrusted in white gold, surrounded by tiny onyxes. The stone was huge and breathtakingly lovely.

" Ing. Oh my goodness!! Beetlejuice!! It's gorgeous!!" she shrieked as tears started to run down her face and her body began to shake.

" Lydia Deetz, will you do me the honor of becoming my bride?" he asked, smiling up at her. She squealed, nodding her head frantically. He took the ring out and slipped it onto her ring finger, " Fits like a dream, Babe," he kissed her hand as a prince would do to a princess and she screamed, tackling him to the ground.

" I love you!! It's beautiful!!! Oh, the weddings gonna be so damn gorgeous!!" she cried, kissing him all over his face as he groaned, " I love you!! I love you!!"

" I love you too, Lyds,"

" I can't wait to get married!! I just can't wait!!!"

" I can't breathe,"

" You don't need to breathe, silly!! You're already dead!! Oh," she climbed off him and spun around, towards the table, " I want so many flowers, some falling from the sky during the ceremony. It'll be lovely and dreary and everything I've ever wanted!! And the ring is so pretty! I just can't wait to get out of here and get married under that starry sky next winter!! Aren't you excited?"

" You could say that," he muttered, smiling as she dropped down into her seat, " But do we have to invite _people_? I just hate being nice,"

" Oh, Beetlejuice... sit, dinner's getting cold," she patted the table and he floated over, hands in his pockets. Once he had sat down, she began to rave about the wedding and details as she absentmindedly examined her engagement ring. He sat across from her, eating the spaghetti and watching her with great amusement. After so long, she took a bite and stopped, looking down at the plate, " Does this have _chocolate sauce_ in it?"

" What can I say, Babes. I'm pregnant,"

" Right... yes... well, then, I'll be doing the cooking from now on," she said stiffly, before going back to looking at her ring. He just smiled across the table.

* * *

Fin. Just Kidding. There's so much more to come, it's scary. Whahaha. Like I'd get BJ preggo, then not indulge in getting him real big.

And I'm taking suggestions on the name and gender of the Juice baby.

And random note: did you know the reason the wedding ring is put on the left hand's ring finger is because the veins from that finger are supposed to lead straight to the heart? Not sure where I heard that... but yup, yup. It's true.

That's all.


	3. Chapter 3

A/- Just because my dumb ass self forgot to mention at the end of the last chapter, now that Lydia is coming to terms with being dead and whatever, the story's not going to be going day by day anymore. So don't be alarmed. I like big jumps between chapters sometimes. Rawr. That's just because I love pregnancy in the later months. So much _fun_. But have no fear, you shall not be disappointed on the relationship front.

And now I'm talking too much again.

Enjoy. Love, Sai-Chan.

* * *

The clock was down to three months. Lydia had been in the prison for two weeks. In those weeks, the only thing she'd done was plan the wedding and go over the various details and money she figured they might be spending on certain aspects. What most brides had to do over months, she compressed into fourteen days of constant concentration. The entire thing was planned, besides the variables like attendance. Unfortunately, as soon as she was done with the initial plans and had whined for the millionth time for her fiancé to look at what she'd done, she found that there was literally nothing else to be done.

The two ghosts were trapped in their prison. They could go outside to the porch and stare at a gorgeous, forever starry sky, but not leave. If they did, they would end up in the Sandlot with the Sandworms, as Beetlejuice had discovered within three seconds of stepping foot into the place six months beforehand. Lydia had wanted to test that theory, since she figured she could leave because she technically wasn't imprisoned. Sadly, her boyfriend was now six months pregnant and it would've been too much of a risk, for her, to let him go out there.

Thus, she had nothing to do. She tried going over the wedding plans again, but couldn't even look at them without feeling sick. Too much thought had made her regret deciding everything so early into the engagement. Now all she had was the idea that in three months they would be getting out of that tiny home and then she could start ordering things and running around like a chicken with it's head cut off again. Until then, however, she was stuck in that house with it's kitchen, living room, bathroom, and bedroom. There was nothing else and nothing to explore. No hidden doors or traps or closets or loose floorboards. Her man had discovered all that shortly after arriving as well. Therefore, she just sat on the couch and stared a hole in the opposing wall.

Next to her, Beetlejuice snored from where he was stretched out, sound asleep as he had been for the past three hours. Much to Lydia's displeasure, her normally erratic, energetic lover was more exhausted then anything else. It was to be expected with pregnancy, she knew, but she couldn't help but feel annoyed. Here she was, bored to tears, and all he did was sleep the afternoons away. When he was awake, he couldn't amuse her with his usual antics of changing shape due to the child. Not only that, but he was beginning to get the aches and pains that came with the territory. So, mostly, he slept. To be kind, he tried to stay up and talk with her about what to expect with death and things like that. But, pregnancy had it's toll and he would drop off to sleep before long.

Not that she could blame him. She knew it must of been driving him nuts not being able to goof off or get into a world of trouble. He was confined to a small space and forced to be pregnant to boot. Now he was reaching the later months and would soon be too big to do much of anything close to norm.

" At least he's getting fatter," she muttered to herself, looking over to where her beloved was sleeping.

In the last two weeks, Beetlejuice's curved belly had grown in size again. It was fuller and rounder, stretching his suit jacket tight. There was little doubt that he was pregnant now and within a few more weeks, that small amount of doubt would vanish completely. The weight gain had only just begun though. That alone kept Lydia amused, being that she found it utterly hilarious in thought alone. To actually watch as he grew larger and larger was down right wicked funny and always brought a smile to her face, even when she was mourning the lack of things to occupy her time like then. Just one look over at his big belly and she was giggling all over herself, just mad with grittiness. She was almost ashamed at how badly she'd been laughing at her husband-to-be over the last weeks as his clothes had gotten tighter and tighter. But help herself she could not. It was impossible not to laugh. What she was going to do in the next few months, she had no idea. All she knew was that if she didn't get it under control, eventually, things could start to get nasty.

In the last couple of days, she'd noted, he'd become increasingly annoyed with her giggling. She knew pregnant people were infamous for their mood swings. To be completely honest, she wasn't looking forward to the moment when her sweet lost his temper and went off on her. He was dangerous. She didn't want to find out just how dangerous. Especially not when locked in a tiny prison with him, and only him, for three months.

But with nothing to do and a frighteningly girly obsession with his weight, Lydia feared he'd feed her to a Sandworm pretty soon.

" Whatever am I to do?" she asked herself in the quiet of the room. Her voice rang out, echoing to their bedroom. Her fiancé slept on, a fact that made her grit her teeth just a bit, " Hey, Beej... Beej... Beej," she nudged him gently, her fingers pushing into his arm. One eyes opened halfway.

" What?"

" Um... I'm lonely. Couldn't we talk?"

" Babes, we already talk. Go -yawn- talk to that cat of yours," he answered, motioning towards the front door. She sighed, " Don't do that, dammit. I ain't dealin' with this,"

" Oh, Beetlejuice. I'm bored. I'm lonely. We're engaged. Can't we act more like it?" she mumbled, crossing her arms over her stomach. He pulled a pillow over his head and outright ignored her complaints, " Beetlejuice! I know you're tired but you sleep all the time! At least listen to me, won't you? I always listen to you!"

" Bitch, bitch, bitch. That's all you do Lyds," he sneered, throwing the pillow into her face. She gawked at him, open mouthed.

" I do not!"

" That's all you've done since you got here! What the fuck did you die for if that's all you wanted from me! You don't see me for five months and you complain that I ain't proposed, so I did! Now all you do is bitch that the wedding's a year away and, for crying out loud, I'm pregnant!" he barked, shoving her off the couch, " So if that's all you want, ya can just get right out of this house and go back to your damned world of the living!! I'll fucking stay here!"

" Y-you don't really me-"

" SHUT UP, WILL YA?" Beetlejuice screamed at her, his eyes glowing with anger. She squeaked, backing up and into the coffee table. Glaring death at her shaking frame, he turned away, leaving her standing there in mortified shock.

Lydia waited, clutching at her heart. Surely her beloved would apologize for yelling at her. He never yelled without apologized. No amount of bad attitude would let him be so cruel to her, she who loved him so. Yet, the longer she waited, the more clear it became that pregnancy was the one thing that turned her husband-to-be against her. Swallowing hard, she slowly left the room. She received no call back and when she reached bedroom, she felt tears coming. As she stepped inside the dark room and closed the door behind her, she broke down and sobbed into her hands, crouching down in front of said door.

Was this what she died for? To plan the picture perfect ghoulish wedding only to have her engagement ruined by an unplanned pregnancy? Was this really what she died for?

The answer, it seemed, was yes.

* * *

All was quiet in the house. The air was as still as a graveyard's, a cold chill running along the world. Darkness swam around the room that Lydia was in, sprawled on the bed she'd been sharing with her true love, whom she'd heard shouting for her earlier. She'd ignored he's screaming, burying her face in the sleeves of the jacket she'd stolen. All that kept her from running out that front door was the comfort of knowing that in three months, her Beetlejuice would return and then they could cuddle on a honeymoon suite bed somewhere in the Neitherworld and that wretched child could be sent to an orphanage for the rest of it's days. She refused to believe that she'd made the same mistake as the girls Clare once hung out with. She had not given up her future for a dream that would never come true. She had come to this prison to be with her lover, and in three months, she'd have him back and then everything, everything would be just fine. They'd get married and never have children.

" Pregnancy is the greatest wrath of God. It makes people hate each other and brings out the worse in them," she growled to herself, wiping her make up stained cheeks on the sleeves of the jacket.

Light broke through her dark little cloud. Her body stiffened when she felt a hand touch her on the shoulder. She felt him lean close, but she defiantly stared in the opposite direction.

" Lyds... I'm sorry," Beetlejuice said into her ear, petting her long hair affectionately. She shook her head, " Aw, come on, Babes. I don't know what to say. I just... y'know, lost it. I made dinner. Come out and eat something," he gave her arm a tug.

" I don't want to eat with you,"

" Don't do this,"

" You started it!" she sobbed, unable to fight back the tears. He drew back when he saw her crying into her hands on the bed, " I didn't do anything! I'm bored to death here! I have nothing to do, nowhere to go, no books to read, and no one to talk to! I just didn't want to deal with your attitude and I don't want to now! I just... I just... want something to do..."

" I've uh... never seen you like this, Babes,"

" I just... I love you. I love you so much. And I'm so afraid this won't work. And I was so worried about upsetting you when you got mad and I..." she hiccuped and he wiped away her tears. Silently, she took one of his hands in hers and pushed her cheek against it, " I'm only eighteen, Beetlejuice. I've never been in love before. I keep forgetting it's not fragile... that it won't break... and I only want to make you happy,"

" Babes," he took a seat next to her and pulled her close. She wrapped her arms around his middle with a bit of difficulty, " I'm just happy you're here with me,"

" Oh, you don't mean that,"

" You're right. Get off," he jerked her off of him, a look of fresh annoyance on his face, " You sure are clingy, Lyds. Do you always have to hug me? Jeez. We ain't married yet,"

" What?"

" You piss me off," he snapped, roughly getting to his feet and storming out of the room. Lydia sat there, utterly confused. Then it dawned on her that her lover must of been having another mood swing, " YOU GONNA GET OUT HERE, OR AIN'T YA, LYDS!!! 'CAUSE I AIN'T WAITIN' FER YA!!! GOT IT?!" his voice carried into the room loud enough that he could've been standing right next to her. She cringed, rubbing her arm nervously.

" Well... he's still calling me Lyds..."

" LYDIA!! WHERE'D YOU PUT THE CHOCOLATE SAUCE!!!"

" Or not..." she sighed to herself, debating whether or not to leave the safety of the bedroom. She heard him shouting for her, which led to the conclusion that answering his cries would be in her best interest. Carefully, she left the room and approached him. He was tapping his boot, hands on his hips. A smile broke out on her face when she saw his stomach, but, in his anger, he didn't seem to care. Shyly, she informed him of where she'd placed the chocolate sauce that had become a stable in their menu for the two weeks that she'd been present. He left her where she was.

As he went about his business, Lydia just idly stood between the kitchen and living room. Her husband was making a mess of the kitchen counters, which she would no doubt have to clean later, and she wasn't sure what or where she was going with her life. She knew, for sure, she was getting married and would be a father. The rest was null and void at the time, and wouldn't be filled for quite some time. But, as for what she was going to do with the time she had now that the wedding had been planned, that was starting to come together as she aimlessly did nothing. There was, in fact, something for her to do. Something that should've attracted her attention from the very beginning.

She could remodel.

Yes, she thought, staring at the walls. She didn't have many supplies, if any at all, but she could at least begin making plan for what to do with the prison should she ever get any. Just by standing there, she began to picture changes in color and style and fashion. It just pieced itself in front of her eyes, making her head fill up and practically go numb with the very thoughts. So numb, it even drowned out her future husband's yelling about the rice.

With her head filling and him losing his mind, Lydia and Beetlejuice were in for an eventful three months to the end of their imprisonment.

* * *

This chapters a bit shorter then usual. But that's because it's what I like to call a 'set up chapter'. It's setting up what's to come next, which is going to be fuuuun. Also, not my usual best. But I wrote it late at night during a bout of insomnia. Whatever.

That's all.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N- Yo. Me again. With a couple more rambles. I've gotten a very positive response to this story and such sweet reviews. Thank you, all of you.

Now, I'd like to inform you all that this story has been incredibly difficult to write from the beginning. (Expect the part where Lydia was 'committing suicide.' That proved quite easy.) So if you have any ideas, feel free to message me. But do it now. In a couple days or so, that option may be done and cut off. Depends... if I inform you otherwise, stop. But, that wasn't what I actually set out to say...

Since this story has been a pain, I'm giving special shout outs to two wonderful people who've given me ideas and reminded me of a couple things.

First off, **mywickedlyweirdnature**. Thank you for the message and ideas. (Big smile so big it hurts my face. Hehehe).

Secondly, **WitchyWanda**. Thanks for the reminder about the mood swings.

And, for your information, I'm doing the best I can to stay away from the angst and horror and drama in this story. It's supposed to be my break. So if I start to dip too much into those genres, slap me with a message, reminding me to keep away from the depressing music. Hahahaha.

And I'm talking too much again...

Enjoy. Love, Sai-Chan.

* * *

Three days had drifted past the little prison floating in the middle of somewhere-nowhere. Lydia was spending her time measuring the house while her future husband cracked jokes about how obsessive-compulsive she'd become since her 'untimely' demise. She flat out ignored him by the third day, sticking out her tongue, before measuring the couch. That's when she realized she was measuring the _couch_. What was wrong with her? The _couch_, Deetz? She shook her head and knew a certain ghost was watching her from where he was floating in midair in the kitchen.

" Am I insane, Beetlejuice?" she exclaimed, throwing the tape down and shuddering. He roared with laughter, which made a twitch go up her spine, " I was being serious,"

" And that only makes it funnier, Babes!" he informed her, desperately trying to stop laughing. He failed impressively, busting out in even louder, more dramatic laughter. She puckered her lips in annoyance. Nothing could be done, however. He couldn't stop, though it was becoming apparent that he was, in fact, trying.

" You know, _Beetlejuice_," she cooed, scooping up the tape and gliding over to where he was. He looked at her with difficulty, he was laughing so hard, " There is _one_ thing is this house I haven't measured yet,"

She ran a slender finger up his rather curved middle, leaning in so close her breasts squished against his stomach.

" _You,"_

His laughter cut and she smiled a seductively wicked smile, the smile of a true witch. All at once, his pale face turned red and he tried to stutter out something as he inched away in the air. When he did, though, her breasts dropped and bounced, for they weren't held in place by a bra; she'd died without one. Like the man he was, he couldn't help but stare as her assets settled into place under his stolen jacket and her silk nightgown. Lydia didn't fail to notice where he was looking. With a moan, she pushed her chest up by clasping her hands in front of her. He went a bit redder, his eyes widening. She groaned and shifted her arms, upping the amount of cleavage that could be seen. A tiny gasp escaped her lips as she swept up her dress playfully, her legs suddenly revealed. His head tilted, watching as she swung her hips from one side to the other. As she pulled the skirt up and shoved her breasts together, he looked confused as where to look, floating in closer. She rolled her eyes.

" You're a pervert, Beetlejuice," she said, dropping her skirt and moving the jacket to cover her breasts completely. He gawked.

" What'd you do that for, Lyds! Do more of that sexy stuff!" he commanded, pulling on her wrist. She turned away, pouting slightly, " Oh, you're a pain in the ass, Babes. Every time you do that, it's just to tease me,"

" We have sex,"

" But I want you to strip tease me,"

" I will one day, Beej," she assured him, loosening his grip on her. He let out a sigh, sinking down in the air, " So, do I get to measure you?"

" Are you kidding? Not a chance," was his snide answer, a bit of anger dripping around the edges. She shuddered at the bite, glancing down at the floor. But he didn't seem to notice. He was just floating there, yawning and staring up at the white ceiling.

Seizing her chance, Lydia tackled her lover to the ground. He screamed, fighting to get her off. It was no use. She already had the tape measure wrapped around his waist and pulled it tight. He pushed her hard in the stomach, trying to knock her off before she could read the number. The fact that he wasn't truly willing to hurt her, however, prevented him from using any real strength. Thus, she effectively read the number out loud in a gleefully girly voice, announcing it to the world despite the fact that they were the only two people in their world. The number was, from what she could conclude, at least four to five inches bigger then his normal waist size. As soon as she said the number, she broke down in laughter and fell onto the ground. He glared at her, kicking her in the shin. She moaned into the fit of giggles that had consumed her, pointing with a shaking finger as she covered her mouth with the other hand. Her love did not look amused, which only added to her pleasure. She fell backwards, gasping deeply.

" Done, Babes?" Beetlejuice questioned, sarcastically concerned. She rolled around a bit on the ground, bouts of giggles consuming her as she tried to stop. Eventually, she just laid there, breathing.

" Y-you... oh my... my sides hurt... you, my dear Beetlejuice... my y-your name is long... goodness... y-you," she raised her hand to point at him as he hovered over her, " Y-you have gotten quite la-large. Yes, indeed, y-you have," he blushed at her comment, his eyes hardening.

" And you're being a bitch about it,"

" Oh, calm down, Tiger. Haha... I've never called you that," she looked up at him from where she was on the ground and tilted her head, " What's wrong?"

" Can't a ghost be bothered by his pregnancy weight gain, Lyds?" he gave a loud sigh and she halfway sat up on the floor, asking what was on his mind, " It's just... I used to be so much thinner, y'know?"

" Beej, it's not like you were ever thin," she reminded him, without thinking. He looked absolutely offended, drawing backwards at her sheer rudeness. She covered her mouth in horror, smacking her hands over her lips. For a moment, they just stared at each other, perhaps in shock at her daring. Then Beetlejuice narrowed his eyes.

" Why you li-" he stopped short, a strange look on his face. Lydia blinked and he was gone. She spun around and saw the light turn on in the bathroom.

" Ah. Emergency bathroom break. Gotta love pregnant people," she snickered, climbing off the floor and dusting off her gown. The jacket slipped down a couple inches and she gave it a tender tug back up, patting it into place although she knew it didn't fit at all. Her hand brushed something she hadn't noticed in the pocket, it being so big on her, " Now what in the world..."

Lydia held up a half used pack of cigarettes, the kind her darling smoked.

" Now where was I?" Beetlejuice appeared near where she was turning the small package over and over, " Oh, yes. Why you li-"

" Beej, aren't you a chain smoker?" she cut him off, holding up the pack. He blinked, his face getting paler, if that was possible, " I haven't seen you light up once. Did you finally quit?"

" Not by choice, Babe," his voice had gone stiff and he swallowed nervously, " I'm pregnant now... I can't... smoke... anymore... until the kid's born... so I... had to... quit... smoking... where did you find those?"

" In your suit pocket,"

" S-so... uh... yes, I quit... aren't you going to throw them out?"

" Are they distracting you?" she teased, waving the pack in front of her. His eyes followed them with a lot more focus then when he'd been staring at her breasts. Grinning, she held them by her finger tips and jiggled them in front of his face, " Do you wanna smoke?"

" Yes,"

" But you're not gonna, are you? Because you _care_,"

" _Yes_,"

" Because deep down inside, you're a _good_ guy,"

" Yes,"

" And these have no power over that side of you,"

" You're being an absolute bitch about this, Lydia,"

" I'm going to throw them out,"

" GIMME THEM!!!"

Beetlejucie snatched the pack from her hand before she could do anything. Lydia let out a scream, rushing over as he took one out and put it in his mouth. She grabbed hold of his arm and pulled, giving it her all. He fought back, jerking out of her grip. Her frantic cries didn't seem to reach his ears as he flicked open his striped lighter. A ball of fire burst up and he lit the cigarette as she choked him with his jacket, pulling back as hard as she could. Then she slipped and slammed into the ground as he went to take the first puff.

" BEETLEJUICE, DON'T!!!" she shrieked, panic washing over her body. She really couldn't believe he was going to put the life of his child at risk just for a stick of poison. But there he was, taking the first drag.

And then he wasn't. He exhaled the first drag and looked like he had no idea what he was doing with a pack of cigarettes. With a moan of frustration, he threw it onto the ground and crushed it with the heel of his boot. Lydia scrambled to her feet as he crumbled up the pack and shoved it roughly into her chest.

" You do that to me again, and I'll hurt you for real, Lydia," he hissed, gripping her arms a little bit too tight. She squeaked out a sorry and he let out a loud sigh, " Just get rid of them, alright, Babes? I... I'm going to go lie down... for a loooong time,"

" Okay,"

Giving her a kiss on the cheek, Beetlejuice vanished once more. For a moment, Lydia just stood there in the living room as though in shock. To be honest, she kind of was. She'd known that her lover was addicted to nicotine. She just hadn't known how bad, until that very moment. Knowing that keeping the cigarettes there would probably end in her getting mauled and the child in grave danger, she made her way to the front door. Careful to be quiet, she stepped out into the breezy limbo their prison was kept in. Holding up the pack, she wondered what was so great about something like a drug.

Shrugging, she took one out of the pack and rolled it between her fingers. She'd never smoked before. She'd never wanted to. She had wanted to save the planet and go on crazy adventures in the Neitherworld. Now, she pocketed the pack and searched the jacket for an extra lighter or something. Her hand found a spare match, which she lit on the side of the house. Not sure how to go about lighting it, she just did exactly what she always saw her ghost do whenever he needed a fix. She bent over, shielded the fire from the wind, and stuck the stick in her mouth. When the fire touched the end of it, she puffed a few times.

And gagged.

Lydia started to hack and cough as the smoke filled her mouth and throat. It tasted terrible and left a bad taste in her mouth. But when she took a couple more drags and learned to take slow, even drags, she found the rhythm soothing. Smiling, she took the last drag and exhaled it the same way she'd watched her husband to be do it for years. Then she flicked it onto the deck and stepped on it with the slippers she was still wearing, holding up her dress to do so.

" Well, that wasn't so bad," she muttered, fingering the pack in her pocket.

Glancing around to make sure the coast was clear, she took out another cigarette and searched for another match. Finding one more, she lit it and took a drag. Then she balanced it between her index and middle fingers. A smile crept across her face as she looked at herself. There she was, a ghost with a striped jacket and cigarette. She couldn't help but giggle and feel like a certain someone. Checking her surroundings again, she stuck the stick in her mouth and adjusted the jacket so it covered her shoulders and smoothed it over her stomach. Carefully, she made sure it was fixed correctly, before taking the stick out and posing like she often saw her fiancé do.

" Well look at me. I'm the ghost with the most, Beetlejuice," she said in a deeper voice, strutting around the deck importantly, " I'm King of the Neitherworld and can go to Earth too. I don't call people by their names and I call my fiancé Babes because I'm rude. I get in trouble and ruin people's lives," she took a drag from the cigarette, "That's my job. I'm a poltergeist and I haunt Babes because I think she's cute. I can float around and change shape and I'm six months pregnant because I destroyed my world. I-"

" Having fun, Babes?" Beetlejuice asked from where he was leaning on the deck when she turned around to strut the other way.

" OH MY!! BEETLEJUICE!!! OH CRAP!!" she exclaimed, throwing the cigarette down on the floor and pounding it into fine powder. He arched an eyebrow, crossing his arms over stomach.

" Well, don't let my arrival ruin your fun. _Babes_," he cooed out innocently, faking a kind smile. She turned bright red, fumbling for an excuse for parading around insulting him. Finally she just began to flutter around the deck, rambling about the weather and what to do about the wood and where she could put a window. He stayed where he was, watching her.

Suddenly, Lydia spun around and latched onto his arms, eyes big and pleading.

" I'm sorry," was all she could say. He stared down at her as she forced his arms to his side and hugged him tightly around the middle. She buried her face in his chest, where there was no comforting heartbeat, and bit her lower lip, praying that he wasn't as pissed as she figured he was.

" Ah, jeez... " he rolled his eyes, petting her hair, " Relax, Lyds. I'm not mad at you... though that impersonation wasn't very flattering, if y'know what I mean,"

" Sorry... um... about the smokes... uh..." she gave a laugh, standing up and twirling a lock of her raven hair, " I um... like them... May I keep them?"

" Like I care if you smoke,"

" Really?"

" Who do you think you're talking to?" he gave her an arrogant smile, adjusting his jacket, " I don't care what you do, Lyds, so long as it isn't that nicety shit you're obsessed with. Smoke away. But you can't do it in front of me,"

" Of course not," she spun around, her dress spinning with her, " You'd probably slit my throat for thinking about it, you addict,"

" You'll be one in good time," he assured her, putting an arm around her waist and drawing her close to him, " Would you like to try one of my other bad habits?"

" It wouldn't be no bathing, would it?"

" Not at all,"

" Then what is it?"

* * *

Beetlejuice placed a bottle of red wine on the table, in front of Lydia. Her mouth fell open as she stared at it and he popped the top. He poured her a glass full and carefully placed it down. Then he took a seat next to her, his own glass filled with melted chocolate mixed with Sprite; she'd watched him create the mixture the day before. For a moment, he just sipped his drink, then he motioned for her to try the liquor. At first, she refused.

" Come on, Lyds. You liked the cigarettes. Who's to say you won't like the booze?" he reminded her, scooting the glass closer. She shook her head, her hair rushing over the stripes, " Well, you seem to like being like me,"

" I _hate_ you when you drink. You're positively vile," she snapped, turning away from the glass as though it offended her, and it more then likely did. He rolled his eyes and debated that he drank all the time, " And those are the nights you feel me up and try to rape me. You're a true fiend when you drink, Beetlejuice. I won't have any of it,"

" I'm not that bad," she gave him a furiously stern look, " Okay, when I'm drunk, I'm that bad,"

" You can't drink without getting drunk,"

" Yes I can. I just don't like to," he sipped his mixture, " Besides, I'm an alcoholic. Drinking doesn't make you an alcoholic. Drinking obsessively when alone does. You're just gonna... be a social drinker,"

" I'm plenty social without drinking,"

" Bullshit," he sounded just a bit frustrated. Then he nervously laughed, " Fine. Just do it because when I'm not pregnant, I plan on getting drunk and I was hoping you'd do it with me. Y'know, since we'll be smoking buddies after this," he patted the side of his curved stomach.

Lydia was quiet for a long time. The red liquid beckoned her, if only because she'd never tried it before in her life. Red wine, she knew, wasn't like the beer and whiskey and such that her husband drank when he set out to get smashed. Her mother drank a glass of wine every now and then with dinner. And her mother never got drunk like her fiancé. Considering that, and the fact that she knew she didn't really want to be sober whenever her lover decided to drink again, she picked up the glass and put it to her lips.

Beetlejuice's smile should've been a warning. But she took a gulp anyways.

It tasted wonderful. Like fruit, with a woody taste and a bite of alcohol. She loved the way it ran down her throat. So smooth and flavorful. Now she understood why it was viewed as elegant to taste wine and drink it with a fancy dinner. There was nothing about it that connected it to the wicked things her sweetheart consumed. So, she took a couple more sips, relishing the taste. Then she realized her glass was empty.

" Hey, Beej. You mind topping me off?" she repeated what she often heard her parents saying to each other, smiling over at him. He beamed as he poured more into her glass, " Too bad you can't have any. Then this would be romantic,"

" Cheers anyways, Babes," he whispered, clinking his glass against hers. She sipped her wine as he sipped his concoction.

* * *

Lydia laughed hysterically, drinking a little bit of what remained of the wine straight from the bottle. Beetlejuice arched an eyebrow, watching as his fiancé drunkenly got to her feet. Her body swayed violently and she laughed loudly, dropping the bottle. His eyes glanced down as it smashed into pieces on the floor, then she was standing in front of him. She put her hands on the arms of his chair and leaned in close. He was eye level with her breasts, and wasn't complaining about the view.

" You, -hic- Mr. Beetle... Mr. Juice... my husband... are lookin' certainly very sexy right about now -hic-. Know what I mean?" she said in a slurred voice, smiling at him. Her eyes were out of focus and her breath smelled like alcohol. Still, he wasn't complaining, " We should fuck,"

" We should,"

" So... how 'bout you get out of yer -hic- clothes and -hic- we make another baby," she gripped his jacket tightly, but ended up slipping and falling into his arms. He cradled her, pushing her hair out of her face, " Oops,"

" You're very drunk right now, Lyds,"

" I know!" she exclaimed happily, " That's why we should -hic- fuck!"

" I'd love to. But I'm not a guy right now," he informed her, talking into her ear. She broke into a fit of giggles, sliding down onto the floor in front of him. She ran a finger over his boot, then pushed her cheek into his leg, wrapping her body around it.

" You could -hic- fondle me,"

" I could, Babes. But you'd kill me in the morning,"

" I can't. -hic- You're already dead!!" she roared with laughter, smacking the ground. He calmly smiled, twirling a lock of her hair, " Beej... hahaha... you're already dead, you silly ghost. Hahaha... and so am I... so lets -hic- fucking have ghost sex and -hic- fly away from this room and -hic- have a lot of babies.." she paused, rubbing her eyes, " Where's the wine? I want another -hic- glass... you should have some too... you're too -hic- quiet... where's the wine?"

" You've had enough,"

Lydia broke into another fit of giggles, falling onto her side. He leaned over a little, observing as she laid there and breathed. She reached for him, smiling through her haze. Like a good, wicked husband to be, Beetlejuice took her outstretched hand. She mumbled about being hot and wishing she knew where her husband had run off to with that whore and then she eyes fluttered shut. Her breathing evened out and her hand grew limp in his hand. He laid a gentle kiss upon it's white knuckles, then heaved himself out of the chair. Carefully, he scooped his fiancé off the floor and held her in his arms. Her head rested on his shoulder, her long hair draped over her shoulder and curling along the jacket she refused to take off. Her cheeks were flushed red and she was completely unconscious. Still, he held her cautiously as he walked to their bedroom. There, he placed her on the bed and stroked her cheek as she slept deeply in a drunken stupor.

" You really need to learn to unwind, Babes," he told her, kissing her on the lips tenderly. She smiled into her sleep, but didn't move, " All this worrying about me is only gonna hurt you in the end. Don't you see that?"

With that, he pulled the sheets over her slender body. She hiccuped, he kissed her forehead, and left the room, closing the door tight so the light wouldn't disturb her. Sighing, he drifted over to the kitchen table and took a seat. The wine had spread over most of the floor and he knew, by morning, Lydia would be howling with a hangover and a ton of fury at him for letting her get drunk. She'd probably never touch the stuff again and would more then likely forbid him to ever drink a drop as well. He knew what she was like when she was bitter and angry with him. Not that he was complaining. She was the perfect person for him. A little bite turned him on. It was one of the reasons he'd fallen for her, long before she felt the same way.

What a wonderful day that had been, he thought, twirling the wine glass around his fingers. He'd gotten a little tipsy and informed a fourteen year old that he loved her and wanted her to be his forever, in life and in death. She had been viciously confused and had put his feelings on ice for the next two years while she battled the feelings she obviously had. He hadn't mentioned it for years. Then, two years ago, she'd confessed that she wanted to be his wife more then anything. They agreed to date until she died of a natural cause, so she won't get stuck at a desk in a place he wasn't allowed. Their relationship wasn't perfect but it was great, especially since he could be with her on Earth as either Betty Juice, Beej, or cousin BJ. But to wait decades for her? Oh, that was easy. A particularly easy task for a ghost like him. He would wait forever to marry her. He just hadn't planned on waiting to propose.

He'd planned on proposing when she graduated high school. That was when he'd gotten punished for conning people out of their money and thrown in jail. When he came back, Lydia and him had gotten in a fight. In a rage, she'd told him she never wanted to see him again and screamed his name three times to be rid of him. He'd sought revenge on Mayor Maynot and gotten tossed into that prison only to find out he wasn't exactly a boy and he was carrying a child.

Oh how miserable it had been. He'd been alone, trapped in a tiny home, with a baby on the way. He'd spent most of his time sick with morning sickness and then planning different ways to explain to Lydia that she was a step-father before ever marrying him. And then, low and behold, she appeared in the prison with him, dead and ready to be wed.

" And what happens?" he questioned himself, letting the glass fall onto the table and crack beautifully, " She goes stir crazy and starts smoking while becoming a compulsive freak..."

He sighed, rubbing the side of his stomach as the baby moved. The baby. Lydia was right, he thought. This was much more serious then he'd originally considered it. He was six months pregnant. And he was _not_ good with children. Being pregnant had been one hell of a ride, and it was setting up to continue to be that way, but he wasn't so sure he was looking forward to being a mom. He'd always pictured his girl pregnant once, maybe twice, and he'd just have to play daddy while she took care of most of the work. And, of course, this would've been years later, when she was prepared to be a parent. It would've been planned. He would've had time to prepare, to mature. Instead, he was six months along and she was a mere eighteen. Neither had expected to be parents and neither were sure it was a good thing that it was happening sooner rather then later.

The baby kicked and a smile crossed his face, his fingers running along the curve. He felt the baby kicking again. Although it did hurt, he couldn't help but feel happy and proud. Sure, he preferred the wild life, going on adventures with the love of his life. Yet, wasn't parenthood supposed to be the biggest adventure of them all? Wouldn't this be a grand roller coaster of fun in itself? He already knew the answer and grinned wickedly at the darkness, twirling the glass with a bit of his concoction inside.

" A toast to the greatest wrath of God, the greatest adventure of them all. A toast to my gorgeous, unconscious bride. And a toast to myself, for being, well, myself," he laughed, tilting the glass to the air. He drained the rest, before leaning back and resting both hands on his stomach.

The baby moved and he cringed a little. Then he just laughed, running a hand through his messy hair.

" At least I only have to do this once!"

* * *

Talk about being a long chapter. It was originally supposed to be cut into two parts, but then one of the chapters would've been really short and I didn't like the idea of putting out another short chapter. Besides, I think it worked well.

Thank you **mywickedlyweirdnature** for the suggestions about the booze and cigs and the bathroom break. Thank you very much.

And the corruption of Lydia Deetz begins!

That's all.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N- Rawr. Me again, obviously. Guess what? Polls will be closed by the posting of the next chapter. Once chapter 6 is up, I will no longer be accepting suggestions for the plot. I will, however, be accepting suggestions on names and gender of the child up until the end.

With that said, I only have two more things to say.

I now dedicate this story, in part, to **mywickedlyweirdnature**. Without her input and suggestions, I don't think I would've been able to plan the story or include as many humorous events. Thank you, luv.

And thank you **Spiderjuice** for your wonderful review and suggestions. Thank you very much, darling.

This one's for you, sis!

Now. Enjoy chapter 5. It's one of my favs. Love, Sai-Chan.

* * *

There was no light washing over her or an alarm clock to beep. Nothing in particular woke her up, but she found herself sitting up and yawning. For the last month, and a week, that was how she'd been waking up. She couldn't say she minded. In all honesty, the idea of sleeping for ten to twelve hours with her fiancé was a dream come true. And that morning was no different. She sat up, yawned, and stretched, before climbing out of bed and drifting out to go make a pot of coffee. Once she had it in hand and had sipped the wonderful mixture a little bit, she headed back to her bedroom. Usually, her love would just be waking up, brought 'to life' by the smell of the coffee he couldn't have or her hissing at the machine to make the liquid faster, as he was that morning.

" Morning, Beetlejuice," Lydia cooed, kissing him tenderly. The kiss only lasted a few seconds but it made her heart beat faster and her cheeks burn red, " Did you sleep well?"

" No. You?"

" I had a dream about you,"

" Was I pregnant? Because if I was, I don't wanna hear it," he informed her, yawning and pushing his hair out of his eyes. She pouted, running a finger along his cheek. He gave her tired eyes, but didn't say anything more to her.

" My poor baby," she teased, placing the coffee down and kissing him again, " You're so tired, aren't you?"

" What're you getting at, Lyds?" his voice had gone just a tiny bit bitter. A shiver slide down her back before she could stop it and she swallowed nervously.

" I'm not getting at anything. I'm just trying to sympathetic,"

" Then stop tryin',"

" Goodness, you're being awfully bitchy this morning, aren't you?"

" You want something, don't you?" he wasn't really asking. She could tell. He was annoyed at not having slept well for the third day in a row and he was looking for a fight. She was the only person to fight with and he was searching feverishly for an argument. His tone was proof enough. He'd used that tone so many times before in class as Betty Juice, itching to break one of Clare's arms or legs (he wasn't very picky). Unfortunately, he was also right.

" How'd you know?" Lydia dropped down on the bed, sitting between his legs. His eyes rolled and sank back against the pillows, " Okay, so I'm not a skilled con artist like _you_,"

" You're a perfectly fine con artist, Babes. Just not with the Master," he grinned smugly and she laughed, shaking her head. Then he repeated his question.

" I just wanted to know if you would tell me why you've been acting so weird as of lately. You've been... _serious_ ever since the night you so kindly let me get wasted," she dropped her voice, not sure how he would react.

For the past three weeks or so, since the night she'd pasted out cold, Lydia hadn't failed to notice a change in her fiancé's attitude. He'd been getting more, to be completely honest, mature. Although she couldn't say she was complaining about the change, she couldn't say she liked how seemingly rapid it had taken place. Especially considering the fact that he wouldn't tell her what had brought on said change. That made her strongly believe she'd either said or done something that had changed his mind set of the idea of becoming a mom in what was fast approaching two months. She was thus seriously concerned about what had taken place after that third glass, which was when her memory got hazy; though her love swore she finished at least four more glasses after that.

However, Beetlejuice had point blank refused to talk about. Her pestering was, obviously, starting to frustrate him. He'd gotten angry the last few times she'd mentioned it. Therefore, she was more then just a little nervous when she said it that morning, seated between his legs. But, he'd asked and she'd never approved of lying, least of all to the one guy she actually loved.

Much to her dismay, that morning was no different.

" I don't wanna talk about it, Lyds. Haven't I already told you that?" he hissed, crossing his arms over his stomach and giving her such a hard stare that her throat went paper dry. She tried for words, but all language alluded her at the moment.

Silence fell over them. Lydia fluttered around in her subconscious for the words that remained outside her grasp. Beetlejuice watched her as though he was quite capable of seeing that inner her freaking out like she was. Then he moaned and touched the sides of his stomach. All at once, his love forgot about trying to find the English language. It came pouring out incoherently, her voice growing shrill. Despite the lack of sanity, it was clear that she wanted to know what was wrong and if there was anything her pitiful young ghost self could do to help.

" Don't worry, Babes," he said, stressed, " Happens all the time,"

" Is that normal?" was the first thing she managed to say, her hands grasping his tightly. He stared at her, " Wait... how would you know? It's not like you've ever been pregnant before,"

There was a pause in which her eyes got thoughtful and his narrowed.

" Hav-"

" No, I have not, thank you very fucking much, Lydia!" he snapped, sitting up and shooing her away, " I'll have you know, this is the very first time I've been knocked up. Jeez. Did you really think that I've done this before?"

" Well... you never know... you're very comfortable in female form," she whispered, shrugging as he gave her a look. Another shrug was all she could give, and she was pushed over for it, " Hey!"

" What? You were in the way, Lyds," he informed her, floating out of the bed and dropping down onto the floor. She would've said something more, but he was finally smiling, so she kept her mouth shut and just began to sip her black coffee once more. While her lover got out his striped suit for the day, she curled up against his pillow and had one of those moments where she truly felt completely at home in their prison, which was difficult to do considering the fact that both of them were just _dying_ to get out.

Lydia's thoughts drifted away from the moment, towards the future. When she had died, she had planned out a lot of things. Since then, the plans had been readjusted and readjusted and thus were simply stay at the limbo prison in the middle of somewhere-nowhere until the baby was born, then bolt to the Roadhouse for a lavishly gloomy wedding, then run off to some resort with Beetlejuice for a lengthy honeymoon in which the child would be left with, presumably, Ginger and Jacques, and maybe, in her plans anyway, they'd never return and the Roadhouse would just be condemned and they'd live out their eternity haunting the living as Mr. and Mrs. Juice. They'd never have any more children and the one that was unborn as of yet would either be left in the very capable hands of her fiancé's neighbors or raised as an only child, in hopes that the child would never doubt that Lydia was it's mother and Beetlejuice it's father. That was the plan. It was basically set in stone. Both of them had agreed and reagreed on everything countless times. But, she couldn't help go over it again.

Why did she get the feeling something was wrong with the plan? Something, as it had for the longest time, felt wrong. As though they were forgetting something. And, for some reason, she couldn't pin point that missing link. Everything was accounted for: pregnancy, child, wedding, honeymoon, upbringing of child, and future with her husband to be. What could possibly be missing?

As she took the last sip of coffee, her brain started to form an idea. Before it could process it, however, her attention was grabbed by the uttering of a swear word from her sweetheart.

" What's wrong, dear?" she asked, her cheeks burning red at the pet name. He didn't answer at first. He just stood there, attempting to tie his pants, his suit jacket undone for one of the first times in all the years she'd known him. Although it was obvious, it alluded her as to why he wasn't already dressed, " BJ?"

" It doesn't fit," he hissed through clenched teeth. She blinked twice, placing down her mug.

" What'd you mean it doesn't fit? Of course it fits. It's your signature suit," was the only dumbfounded answer she could manage. He gave her a look that clearly said ' You're an idiot'.

" It doesn't _have_ to fit, Babes. It just normally," he paused as he tried to button the pants, " Does. God dammit! What the fuck else could possibly go wrong!! My damn clothes don't fit!!" he screamed, hands on his hips and fire in his eyes. His girl sat on the bed, touching the jacket she was huddled in.

" Are you sure?"

" And what kind of question is that, Lydia?! Am I sure? Well, it's not on, now is it, darling!!" he shouted at her, jerking violently on the collar of the suit. She swallowed, easing off the bed.

" I'm just trying to be helpful,"

" Well it's not working, dammit!"

" You don't have to yell at me about it! It's not my damn fault your suit doesn't fit!!" she retorted, though her voice shook more from sorrow then anger. Beetlejuice stared at her like he was surprised she was yelling back at him. To be honest, he actually looked like he was surprised to see her there at all, as if he'd expected to find himself yelling at someone else. All at once, he laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck, a blush crossing his face.

" Oh... I'm sorry, Babes... I didn't mean to get mad like that... You understand, right?" his voice was soft and kind, the voice she'd fallen for those few years ago. All at once, she swooned and fluttered into his arms, gripping the collar of his jacket and resting her head on his chest, again listening to the emptiness that came with death.

" Of course I understand, Beej. I know deep down inside, you're not mad," she whispered into his shirt. He held her close, tenderly petting her hair. Very slowly, she raised her head and their eyes met.

Beetlejuice kissed Lydia passionately on the lips, his hands holding both sides of her face with only his red fingertips. Her eyes closed, her body melted against his, her hands twisted up his jacket, her breasts pushed into his chest as she rose up on tippytoe as though willed by someone other then herself. Heat washed over both of them as their tongues explored the other's mouth for what felt like both the millionth and first time. One of his hands slide down her neck, caressed her throat and made her gasp out into the kiss. Then it found her clothing and danced over the stripes of the jacket until it rested on the red silk of her dress. His hand cupped her ass and her face turned red as she ran a hand through his blond hair. Her nails slightly tore the cloth of the jacket as he squeezed harder and she let out a moan.

Her head was tilted backwards by his free hand and he laid a light kiss on her neck. She shook at the touch, his kisses running down to her collar bone. There, he ran his thumb over the bone and licked it playfully. She cried out, jerking him as close as they could go, both hands nearly ripping the collar off the jacket. He bit down on the bone and her eyes rolled back, her body growing limp in his arms, her hands practically falling to her sides. He was at one of her spots and the pleasure was so great, she couldn't even moan. Tears began to creep down her face as he kissed the bruise and bit down closer to the hollow of her throat. Her knees buckled and he held her up, one hand on her ass, the other her shoulder. Her head went back and her hair spilled over her shoulders, over his hands. A smile crept across his face as he felt it on his knuckles. One of the black tears ran down her throat and over the wound, stinging, and causing her to shutter. He licked the tear away and her hands found him once again.

She grabbed his arms and held fast, kissing him deeply on the lips. The kiss was not chaste but it had no tongue. She just kissed with fierce passion, her nails digging into his flesh. His back arched painfully at the angle, but he could only focus on how tender the kiss was, rough as it was. She licked his lips, before forcing his mouth open. Her tongue danced over his until his wrapped around hers. Then she just moaned into the kiss and moved her hands to his waist. She rested fingertips on his stomach, loving the feel.

The kiss switched, Lydia's head being forced back again. Her back arched as Beetlejuice moved his hands to her stolen jacket. He unbuttoned it for her as she massaged his shoulders and kissed him on the lips lightly, over and over and over. He moved her hands down, so that the jacket slipped off effortlessly. A shiver went down her and both smiled at it. One of his fingers pushed the strings of her nightdress off her shoulders. When she shuddered again, he kissed down her neck, but didn't stop at her collarbone. Instead, he continued and kissed the top of her breast. She groaned, hands twisting his hair tightly, pushing his face closer to the swell of her chest as her breathing rapidly increased. He kissed the top of her other breast.

" Ah, Beetlejuice!"

He gave her dress a tiny tug and the material instantly revealed her innocent and pure chest. They were pure, perfectly round, and large, just as he'd always hoped they'd be. Against the blackness of her hair and the red of her dress, they appeared to be even more perfect. Thus, when he kissed them this time, it was much purer. A chaste kiss all over, his hands holding her waist as he bent to kiss them. It was difficult to bend over, but that thought barely crossed his mind.

His tongue ran over her breast. She cried out, another tear making it's black way down her stained cheeks. Her body convulsed against her will, her back arching more as he licked the line of her chest. When he took her in his mouth, she found her voice was gone. Her mind became a blank mess of sheer emotion, all desiring more as he sucked on her breast. Her nails tore through his jacket, the tearing sound pleasing to the ear, as she soundlessly screamed to the world how wonderful it all felt. The sensation was almost too great after all this time. She felt wetness between her legs and that made her smile as he bit down over the nipple.

Blood tickled into his mouth. That was when he kissed the red mark splashed on the whiteness of his love. Beetlejuice kissed her other breast again, his hands inching closer and moving more of the fabric away. She didn't stiffen, so he kissed the strip of stomach that showed, his hands dipping down to her curvy hips as he eased onto his knees. Her hands moved back to his hair, her body bending over him and allowing her hair to form a black curtain around him as he nibbed at the skin. His hands moved back and gripped her ass tightly and she let out a laugh so low it was enough to get him to shudder. Then his hands ran down her legs, only fingertips touching the dress as she cradled his head against her bosom and stomach.

His hands found the hem of Lydia's dress. They went up it, bunching it up as they slowly made their way up all that leg. She gasped, her chest rising and falling faster and faster, her mind becoming a mess of white spots. The dress was pulled up to her waist and the black panties underneath were revealed. He kissed them, kissing her inner thighs and made her voice disappear. That made his head spin with heat as he inched the underwear down and she held the dress up with one hand. She was as perfect down there as she was anywhere else and he licked from her thigh to between her legs as carefully slow as he could manage considering the rush he was feeling, falling in wave after wave one right after the other. She screamed, flat out screamed, when his tongue penetrated her.

It was music to his ears.

Lydia's screaming became panting as he explored the inner most portions of her. He ran his tongue along the outside, the inside, and kissed her all over, one hand on the curve of her tender ass, the other on her naked thigh over her underwear. Her body was bent over him, quivering dramatically. He blew and her knees came close to buckling again. He blew again and they did. Her leg pushed into his shoulder, causing his grip to tighten. Her hands gripped at his hair, one slipping down and closing around the back of his suit collar. His tongue flicked back inside, swirled, curled, and ran along the inside as only his snakelike tongue could. He found the spot that made her pants vanish, replaced with only the shaky movements of her body. Over and over and over, his ran the tip of his tongue over it, harder and then softer and then harder, changing the pattern. Tears dripped onto her hands as her grip intensified. He did it one more time and drew back, kissing her thigh, before licking two of his fingers until wet. Then he inserted them into her and heard her voice ring out. He fingered her, relishing the feel of her, then began to thrust the fingers in and out at a fast pace. Her body convulsed.

Everything in her vision turned white as her eyes rolled back into her head, the tears unable to come any longer. She shrieked, pleasure like no longer pouring down her, her blood boiling hotter and hotter. It went wave after wave until her vision came back, doubled, and she collapsed on top of her fiancé.

Beetlejuice eased his hand out of her and helped her onto the floor. There, he kissed her from stomach to mouth. The kiss was chaste and innocent, leaving her gazing up at him with a silly smile on her make up stained, flushed face. He kissed her forehead, made her giggle and touch his stomach carefully. Then he laid down next to her and allowed her to curl her body around him and rest her head on his chest, her hair spilling over them as she did.

" I love you Beetlejuice," she breathed out, her voice weak.

" I love you, too, Lyds," he answered, kissing the top of her head and grinning to himself. She beamed, cuddling against his chest and enjoying the fact that there was no heartbeat to distract her from the sheer warmth of his body next to hers.

* * *

When Lydia woke up much later, she was no longer on the floor. She had been moved to the bed by a certain ghost with the most. A smile crept across her face at the thought of his kindness, until she heard that said ghost swear. Then she sat up and saw that her sweetheart was, for the third or fourth time, trying to get his pants to button; a different suit, though still the same. Watching him was highly amusing, she found herself thinking, the smile returning. Even though she didn't really want to, she giggled shrilly, covering her mouth. He heard the giggle and gave her a look, eyes narrowed even though he was smiling.

" So you think this is funny, Babe?" he cooed, hands on his hips. She wasn't quite sure whether the question was rhetorical or not, but nodded anyways, " Well, go ahead and laugh then,"

" Oh, Beej, I don't wanna laugh _at_ you. Can't we laugh together?"

" I don't find this funny,"

" Well, I'm not laughing because you're pregnant. I'm laughing because your suit doesn't fit. Just so you don't take it the wrong way," she added on, before allowing her laughter to come out. It grew louder and louder until she was red in the face and gripping at her sides. Her body rocked with it, the image of her love struggling with his clothes for the first time running in her mind. She couldn't help but find the irony of the situation to die for hilarious. So, laugh she did.

For a moment, Beetlejuice watched her laugh. The way she doubled over made him smile to himself. So, he just stood there, tapping his foot, awaiting the end of the bout of giggles. Much to his dismay, that end didn't seem to be coming any time soon. Despite his amusement at the way she laughed, annoyance started to crawl over him. He frowned deeply, crossed his arms over the bulge of his stomach, and waited. She was near to tears, even if she was trying to stop. That made him twitch.

" Okay, Babes. That's enough. You can stop. Any day now," he said, voice lower and darker then it had been. She shook her head, covering her mouth. Yet the laughter did not stop. If anything, it only got worse, " WHILE WE'RE YOUNG, LYDIA!!"

All at once, her laughter cut. Her face was a bit paler then normal, her eyes stunned and pained. Upon seeing her like that, Beetlejuice tried to rid himself of his anger. But it was no use. That side of him had already been released and he failed miserably. Unfortunately, his lover knew this and her face hardened dramatically. Narrowing her own eyes, she roughly climbed off the bed and hiked up her dress as she stormed out of the bedroom without a word. He called out to her, floating after her.

" LEAVE ME ALONE!!" she yelled, spinning around and facing him with fiery eyes. That look shocked him to a stop, " Why don't you just float your fat ass back to the God damned bedroom and be a bitch to yourself, Beetlejuice! I've had just about enough of that attitude of yours! I'm... It doesn't matter what I do! I'm not doing it with you!"

" Lyds, I-"

" I don't want to hear it!! I've heard all your excuses before! I don't care anymore! Now I get to throw a hissy fit! AND I'M GONNA DO IT PRIVATELY, SO JUST GO AWAY, YOU ASSHOLE!!!" she roared over him before snapping back around and marching into the bathroom.

The door shut with a loud slam. A click and it was locked.

" Fine then! Stay in there, you bitch! Who needs ya!" he called after her, jamming his hands into his pockets and drifting off to the kitchen. There, he sat down and conjured up a smoothie made of chocolate sauce, grapes, orange juice, and lemonade. He sipped it, trying to force himself not to think about his fuming angel locked in the bathroom.

That task proved more difficult then he originally thought it would. His emotions were still wrapped around her Gothic frame. He was angry that she had laughed at his misfortune, guilty for getting mad at her, annoyed that she'd chosen to lock herself in the bathroom, frustrated that he couldn't talk to her, sad because she'd gotten mad at him, irritated that she had won the fight, and truly taken aback by how simply gorgeous she had looked raging mad.

So, instead of thinking of other things, she was all that was on his mind, as she had been since the day he first met her. Then, she'd been a mystery, a beautiful mystery who believed he'd been called by the Maitlands. He'd been immediately interested in that girl with the black gown and camera who had been flat against the wall in terror at him. When they'd first spoken, he found that he felt similarly to the child who wanted to die. True, he'd tried to use her to free himself permanently by conning her into marriage, but that aside, he had just wanted to talk. And that's what they did when he'd gotten back from seeing old Juno. He'd appeared in her mirror and asked why she hadn't just said yes like a good girl. She'd screamed and fallen off her chair and stared as he waited for an answer. And thus had begun their many talks about living, dying, the Neitherworld, the real world, and why the Maitlands had been able to leave early; he'd pardoned them of the one hundred and so years by getting Juno to give him the punishment of not being able to contact other ghosts or continue his career as a free lance bio exorcist. Finally, the day had come and Lydia said his name three times and freed him from his prison. The rest had been history, ending in the prison they were currently trapped inside. Which was where he was trying not to think about her.

Sighing, Beetlejuice glanced back at the bathroom door. How he wanted to hold her right now, to tell her how sorry he was. That was when she wailed how much she hated him and he shivered, deciding it was best to just give her some space at the moment. He sipped the smoothie, cringing as he heard her cursing him so passionately.

* * *

An hour later, however, he didn't feel like being so kind. He had to use the bathroom. One of those things about being pregnant. He had to use the bathroom a lot. The fact that his fiancé had locked herself inside that particular room was beginning to be a real problem. Especially since it appeared that she wasn't going to be coming out any time soon. And it was becoming clearer and clearer that waiting until she came out herself was not a good plan after all. There was no way he was going to make it till then. He shifted his weight uncomfortably, looking back at the door, as his mind thought up things to say to get her to open the door and leave it. Then he disappeared and reappeared in front of the door. He knocked.

" Go away, Beetlejuice!"

" Come on, Babes, I just wanna talk. Come on out," he answered, forcing the desperation out of his voice. There was no response, " Lyds, I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said. You know I love you. So how about you come out and we talk,"

" We can talk just fine with a door between us!" was her snide answer. He choked the air where her neck would've been had she been standing in front of him, twitching, " So go ahead an talk, Mr. Juice. Talk to no one because I refuse to listen to you. You're a liar and a con artist,"

" I never lied about loving you. You know that," he crossed his legs, sitting in mid air. He heard a laugh, loud and vicious, " Babes, seriously, just come out here,"

" No,"

" Why do you have to act like a fucking child?! Just get out here so I can apologize for getting fucking mad at you!" he shouted, banging on the door. She didn't answer again and he hit the door hard, " Dammit, woman!! Open the door! This is my bathroom too! You don't have the right to lock yourself in it!" he heard her laugh again and kicked the door when he did.

" I'm not coming out until you're not mad at me,"

" I-am-not-mad!" he said through clenched teeth, slightly bouncing up and down in the air. She informed him that she knew that voice and refused again to leave, " Couldn't you just go to the bedroom like any normal girl?!"

" You were in the bedroom when I wanted to leave," she sounded a bit flustered now, as though he'd struck a nerve.

" Yeah, well, you have a pretty handy way of getting rid of me, don't you?" he regretted saying that almost instantly. She shouted that he had a point and started to say his name, " Uh, uh, uh, Lyds. If you do it now, I'll just appear in there because we're not in the same place. Doesn't work if we're not in the same room. So there! Now get out!"

" No!"

" I don't want to fight with you about this, Babes,"

" My name is Lydia!"

" Fine! Lydia! I don't want to fight with you. I'm sorry. If there's one person in this universe I would never want to hurt, it's you. I love you as I've never loved anyone before. I know you know I'm telling the truth. So, please believe me when I say I'm sorry for letting my temper get the best of me. I know you don't deserve that attitude and I'm sorry. I was just frustrated. I'm sorry. Please, please, I'm begging you, believe me and forgive me," he prayed she bought what he was saying because the pain was becoming almost unbearable. He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for her to say something.

" You're just saying that to get me out of here,"

" You're right! SO GET OUT!!" he screamed, banging on the door with both hands, " OPEN THIS DOOR, LYDIA!! I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!! SO GET THE FUCK OUT!! NOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!"

" How dare you, Beetlejuice! How dare you try to sweet talk me as a con! Just for that, I'm not coming out!" she retorted, hitting the door herself. Then he heard her feet marching back over to where ever it was she was sitting. He kicked the door, fire in his eyes.

" GET OUT, DAMMIT!!!"

" NO!"

" This is not fair, Lyyyydiaaaaa!" he sobbed, clawing at the door. Truthfully, he really felt like crying now. The pain was so bad his head was starting to get hazy. He couldn't stand it. He was going to go crazy. He had to get inside that bathroom.

" You're not fair! You're always yelling at me and then apologizing! You shouldn't have to apologize! You shouldn't get mad in the first place!" she sounded like she was crying as well. Had he been in a better way, that probably would've effected his mood. But all he could focus on was how badly he needed the bathroom and how this door was the only thing blocking his way. He moaned, " Are you okay?"

" I'm sorrrryyyyy Lyds... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'll be good next time," he assured her, shaking with agony. His voice was weak and gentle, desperate as it had never been. He heard footsteps and that door unlocked. It creaked open.

" Oh, Beej, you really mean it do-"

Beetlejuice grabbed Lydia's arm and jerked her out of the bathroom. Then he slammed the door in her face as she fell onto the ground with a squeal. She blinked a few times, staring in absolute shock. She screamed his name, only once, before marching to the living room and throwing herself down on the couch in a complete rage, even though she told herself she really should've expected nothing else from the ghost with the most.

In a few moments, he floated into the living room. She hurled a pillow at him, but missed by about three feet. Silence fell over the room as he arched an eyebrow and looked from the pillow to her and back again. Her face was turning red, embarrassment flooding over her. At the same time, both burst into laughing, hysterically and loudly. He tried to say something, but couldn't, and she choked on air, hiding her face. The laughter continued on and on until she fell off the couch and landed with a thud.

" You okay there, Babes?" he asked, suddenly standing over her. She giggled, nodding, and let him help her to her feet. Carefully, he dusted her off.

" I'm sorry for locking you out of the bathroom, BJ," she kissed his cheek. But he only waved off the apology, " I know, I know. I believe you. And I'm sorry too, okay?"

" Oh alri-"

His voice cut. Pain had stolen it away. And pain was the only word for what he felt coursing through his stomach. A pulsing pain that made him gasp and clutch at his waist. He knew what it felt like. But surely not! He wasn't even seven months yet. There was no way he could be in labor, could he? The agony, however, was real and could be described no other way. Labor. He was in labor. Did that mean he was going to lose the child? A stillborn? Those fleeting thoughts scared him more then any Sandworm. Lose his child? He didn't think he'd be able to survive such trauma. Yet, there was that pain again. He moaned, but not from the pain.

" Beetlejuice?! Oh my! What's wrong?! What's going on! What's happening?" Lydia screeched, grabbing his arm tightly. He shook his head, sinking down onto the couch. Fear had numbed him to the point of not being able to speak, " Is it the baby?"

" Yeah..."

" Is it moving?"

" No..."

" I think I know what's wrong!" she exclaimed, hands on his shoulders. He gave her a murderous look, " Braxton-Hicks! False labor pains! It's perfectly normal!!" the look of disbelief on his face made her giggle nervously.

" _False labor pains_?" he repeated in a voice that would've made anyone else run for cover and pray for survival. She bobbed her head up and down, taking a seat next to him and placing fingertips on his stomach, " Oh, that is so messed up! Not only do I have to go through real labor, but I've got to go through false ones too!?! That is the most fucked up thing I've ever heard of, Babes!"

" Well, it is supposed to be God's greatest wrath,"

He gave her a look and she only smiled at him. Then he let out a wordless cry, holding his stomach as another pang went up it. Greatest wrath, indeed, he found himself thinking. Making him believe, even for a second, that his child could be in danger. Only someone wicked would do that to a mother. Do that to a mother? Beetlejuice swallowed at that, glancing over to where Lydia was innocently touching his stomach. Did he just think that? Was it possible? Was it honestly possible? Did he really think of himself as a mother? A mother to a child created as a punishment? A child that wasn't even Lydia's? Surely the answer was no. But sitting there, in sheer pain, he knew he couldn't lie to himself any longer. There was just no way to deny how he felt about his fiancé, about the child, about the future he knew she had planned out to a T.

He, Beetlejuice, wanted to have children. And _he_ wanted to be the one to have them. Not Lydia. He liked being pregnant. And there was just no denying that anymore.

* * *

Wow. Talk about your long chapter. Hahaha.

I'd like to thank **mywickedlyweirdnature** for the suggestion of a fight where Lydia is locked in the bathroom. I hope you enjoyed it.

No flames. I warned you, the rating was subject to change!

That's all.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N- Yeah, I know. . . What a long wait. If it makes you all feel any better, there are many other stories that haven't been updated for longer. Time escapes me when I'm busy with other things. But, uh, well, I guess I can only say sorry and hope you still like my story. That's about all. So. . . Here's the long awaited sixth chapter to GGW.

PS- Please go take my new poll. Vote for your three favorite couples. The winning one will get a M-rated Winter/Christmas inspired oneshot. It will be up until Dec 1st, 2009. Thanks.

Enjoy. Love, Sai-Chan.

* * *

Despite it having happened for the past week or so, Beetlejuice still couldn't get used to the fact that he couldn't sleep. He had tried all the usual methods. He got up, stretched his legs, drank some warm milk, counted sheep, counted heart beats, counted how many times Lydia mumbled something close to his name, and even tried to smother himself with a pillow. Nothing worked. His back ached, his legs throbbed, and his ankles were swollen. The fact that his future bride could sleep just fine really didn't help either. In fact, it made it really that much worse. There he was, moaning and switching positions, and she was dozing in some pretty slumber land. Unable to take it, he had ditched and was now sitting on the couch with his legs propped up on the coffee table. As his suit no longer fit, he was dressed in merely his beetle covered boxers and a loose pink shirt that was stretched over his swollen belly.

The world around him was still and quiet. The countdown in front of him told him that in two months, he was going to be a mother. He was seven months along. Beetlejuice wasn't entirely sure how he felt about it. To be sure, he knew he enjoyed being pregnant and he was somewhat hopeful of having more children. His momentary fear for his unborn child had sealed that emotion in stone. Yet, he wasn't sure what he really thought, even if that didn't make sense. He knew he wanted the child, maybe even a couple more, and that he loved the experience of pregnancy. Right then, though, he was more agitated then anything else. Rubbing his middle finger over his thumb, he wished he could have a smoke or a drink to clear his head. That had always been his preferred method of thinking things over when he lived alone at the Roadhouse. Just slink his way outside, prop his feet up on Doomie's hood, and shoot some tequila and smoke a couple cigarettes, and he'd have an answer to what ailed him by the time the sky had started to brighten. Of course, he couldn't do any of that now. He was pregnant.

" Maynot, you're gonna pay dearly for this, you jackass. . ." he muttered as he sighed and twirled a lock of his overly messy hair. Within him, the baby kicked, causing him to wince. Casually, he touched the side of his stomach where the attack was coming from, " Hello, there, kiddo. It's me, Beej. . You're. . . uh. . Mommy? I guess so. . Yeah. . Uh. . This is pathetic, Beetlejuice. Why can't you just tell Lydia?"

Just saying her name out loud, however, made him cringe. Beetlejuice couldn't even think about thinking about telling her without that nervous feeling rushing to the surface. Even in the still night, his cheeks flushed. No, he most definitely couldn't tell her that he thought of himself as a mother. It didn't matter if he enjoyed having life inside him or that he was planning on finding a way to have other children. He couldn't tell her _he_ wanted to be the mother. Her reaction, for one, was probably going to be less then thrilled. After all, one of her first complaints had been that she wasn't the one pregnant. Other then that, though, was the simple fact that Beetlejucie never did the 'maternal' thing. He was the polar opposite of maternal. He was a true guy, inside and out. The idea of giving up his masculinity in such an utter and complete way was mortifying. He could admit to himself that he wanted to be a mother, that he _was_ a mother, but he couldn't to another person. Not even Lydia.

Besides, he wasn't entirely sure how he would feel after the baby was born. From what he'd heard around, mostly from Ginger, mothers had an instinctive bond with their children. They would know what a single whimper meant and would know when their baby was in danger. He had never really felt that way about anyone other then his Babes. Of course, most of that was due to his ghostly powers and the fact that they thought along the same lines. Several years of friendship didn't hurt either. Could he possibly feel that way about something as helpless as an infant, even if it was his own?

Honestly, he didn't know. As much as it pained him to think it, Beetlejuice was almost positive he wouldn't. He was sure that as soon as the child was born, his connection with it would be cut. He would never wake from a deep slumber because it whined over the intercom and needed to be held. He would never drop what he was doing to see if it was alright. He wouldn't be able to tell if it was sad or angry when it cried. Perhaps that, more then anything, prevented him from stating that _he_ was the mother, not Lydia. She was a woman. She had maternal instincts. She was wonderful with children. He just wasn't. Beetlejuice hated kids and their crying gave him a massive headache that he couldn't get away from fast enough. Should he declare himself the mother, the primary caretaker, and then fail, he knew he would never live it down. He wasn't even sure he'd be able to live with himself, figuratively speaking anyways.

" This sucks. . . Man, I wish I could smoke," he growled, yawning into the back of his hand. Deciding it best to stay mum on the mother word for now, he just turned tired eyes to the kitchen. Ignoring all the healthy mumbo-jumbo he'd been surrounded by since childhood, he vanished and reappeared in front of the fridge. All he really wanted was chocolate sauce. Shrugging, he took the bottle out and disappeared after kicking the door shut. He reappeared back on the couch as he uncapped the top, " Cheers,"

A couple minutes passed in which Beetlejuice passed the time literally drinking the sauce he found he just couldn't get enough of. A small smile then crossed his lips as he turned his mind back several decades. He had only one previous experience with pregnancy. That had been when his mother had been pregnant with his little brother Donnie. Although he had been very young at the time, he did remember a few things. His mom had been very tired, had always insisted on hand washing everything, and had drunk chocolate sauce. When he had whined and said he wanted chocolate too, she had often scolded him, telling him in a joking manner, that only pregnant Juices got to actually drink the stuff. Growing up, he had been annoyed by the lie, especially when she told everyone that drinking plenty of the stuff made sweet children; to which everyone asked what she had drunk when pregnant with Beetlejuice and she had kidded around and said hot sauce. Now that he was actually pregnant, he was amused to know that, despite his vast differences from everyone in his family, he was family. How he couldn't wait to tell everyone that he was a true, blue Juice after all. Ruin their day, maybe, if he could.

Snorting at the thought, he pulled his mind from his memories when he heard a mutter of his name. There was some shuffling and then his darling bride-to-be was standing in the room. Her hair was a wreck, she was squeezing his pillow, and rubbing her tired looking eyes. He waved while she mumbled about the time. Yet, she dutifully took a seat next to him, wrapping her legs around the pillow too. He offered her some chocolate sauce, but she declined. After yawning loudly, she asked him what he was doing up.

" Babes, I'm pregnant. Do I really have to answer that?" was his teasing response. Lydia gave him a semi annoyed look, " Oh, c'mon, Lyds. You know how it goes. I've been up every night for the past couple days,"

" I know. Is that good for you?" she questioned as she rested her cheek on the pillow with loving affection. He knew, of course, that she was acting that way because it was _his_ pillow. He didn't know where that sort of attachment came from. He just knew that's what it was.

" Well, I sleep all day, so it can't be all bad,"

" I suppose so. . ." Lydia watched him thoughtfully for a moment, " Hey, Beej? Where does all this food come from anyways? I've never really thought about it, but, if you're stuck here all the time. . . How do we never run out of food?"

There was silence for a moment as Beetlejuice stared at her. Then, slowly, he lowered his eyes to the bottle of chocolate sauce in his hand. To be honest, he'd never even thought about it. He had been living there for seven months, yet it had never crossed his mind to wonder where all his supplies came from. Not really wanting to admit that to Lydia, though, he tried to think of a better explanation. He had just assumed not question it as long as the food kept coming. Thinking harder, though, he figured they had to be coming from somewhere, someone, who knew he was there and that he was pregnant.

" Um. . . Well. . . I don't know for sure, but I think it all comes from the Mayor. . ." Beetlejuice admitted, shrugging as he drank a little more, " I mean, he couldn't let me starve. I'm carrying _his_ love child,"

" Oh, Beej, please don't say that. It's so depressing,"

" What? I thought you liked being depressed," he sneered, smacking her on the back a bit harder then he meant to. She didn't appear amused in the slightest, " Well, gee, Babes, if you're gonna be a grouch, go back to bed,"

" Maybe I'm giving you a taste of your own medicine, eh, BJ?" she retorted, finally breaking into a heart warming smile he couldn't help but find delicious. He ignored her stab. Rather, he just took a sip from the bottle and expressed his concern that perhaps she really ought to hit the hay. The look she gave him was something to be admired on the annoyance end, " Oh, hush, Beetlejuice. I know that if I were the one pregnant, you'd be up with me,"

" And I will be when you are,"

" Yes, yes, when I am, you will be. I'll hold you to that," Lydia mumbled, rubbing one of her makeup smeared eyes. Beetlejuice was quiet to the shot, waiting to see if she would realize what she had just said. There was a hearty pause before she blinked slowly. Seeing the realization dawning on her, the ghost prepared himself as best he could for whatever reaction she would come up with, " Wait a minute, Beej. . . when I'm pregnant? As in. . . having _more_ children?"

" Uh. . . maybe?" he suggested with a sheepish smile and half a shrug. She cast him a strange look that required a triple take. Beetlejuice could only give her his best pout, trying to hide the fear that was beginning to build up. He wasn't sure, at first, what the fear was. Then it dawned on him that he was afraid she would turn the idea down. As far as he knew, Lydia intended for them to raise this one child and be done with the parental process. Perhaps that's why he swallowed dryly, watching her eyes go from wide to narrowed to bewildered in a matter of seconds.

As for the female, she wasn't sure what she was supposed to be feeling. She felt the tension rising in the room, yet found that she was at a lost for words. Her initial reaction, of course, was to snap a loud 'no' and dash the thought from her future husband's head. All of Lydia's careful planning revolved around them only having one child. She wasn't entirely sure how she even felt about this one kid. She knew she wasn't pleased with Beetlejuice being the pregnant one, but that wasn't to say she wanted to be. She had not died so she could raise a family, she told herself as a frown overtook her face. Still, her mouth did not move to voice her opposition. Rather, she merely shifted her position as her head turned away. For weeks, she had planned their wedding and a honeymoon that could very well last the rest of their undead lives. She had been putting some serious thought into leaving this unplanned child with Beetlejuice's family so they might run off and become adventures in the depths of the Neitherworld.

That, however, was when her mind stopped. Lydia could say in her head all she wanted that she wasn't ready to be a parent. In truth, she probably wasn't. She was just a child and was utterly new to her life in eternal damnation. Yet, she had known from the beginning that something had been nagging at her whenever she envisioned her life with Beetlejuice. Perhaps that something had to do with the family she seemed so ready to abandon. After all, she had thought about being a mother later in her life. Seeing how her ghostly lover was already expecting, maybe it was time to own up to those feelings. She couldn't be a child forever. She had perished to be with this man. She should have known that their world of permanent playtime wouldn't remain as such when they were officially married. For everything Lydia had said, had done, she had failed to do the one thing she had always scolded Beetlejuice for never doing.

Lydia had failed to grow up.

For the past few months, she had been sulking around that prison in utter despair that all her careful planning when she had died had been for naught. She had even gone so far as to convince Beetlejuice that they were going to get married and run away. He had humored her plans the entire time. Yet, there he was, giving her what was as close to a serious expression as he ever got, having just suggested they settle down and raise a family. Lydia couldn't say she wasn't surprised. However, she shouldn't say it was unexpected. Beetlejuice had spent centuries goofing off a million different ways, for there had never been anything to stop him from doing so. Now he was seven months pregnant and staring parenthood right in the face. As she had experienced first hand, he could be surprisingly mature about things he felt were important. That she could have misled herself into thinking he had intended to leave his child was embarrassing. Thus, she forced a smile as she squeezed his pillow close to her chest. She tried to enjoy the idea rather then focus on the sinking feeling forming in the pit of her stomach.

" Maybe one or two. That sounds nice," Lydia informed him, smiling the best she could. A look of sheer shock overtook his pale face, his eyes blinking several times as if he thought he had misheard her. A small laugh escaped her mouth before she clamped her hand over her lipstick covered lips.

" You. . . wow, that's a shocker," Beetlejuice teased, a mild electric shock following the joke. Shivering, Lydia shot him a bit of a glare. He merely grinned at her, watching as she furiously attempted to smooth out the frizz that had puffed up her hair.

" Yes, well!" she snarled, pushing her pillow into him. Her ghost broke down in laughter at her display of childish attitude. For a moment, she gritted her teeth in a vigorous attempt not to smile. His choking laughs, though, got the better of her. Her lips curled up into a winning grin, but didn't stop his own cackling. Lydia finally just smacked him in the arm, " Alright, BJ. Knock it off! C'mon! It's not that big of a deal!"

" I disagree, Lydia," he answered in a deep monotone voice, forcing his face into a serious look that was completely ruined by the simply fact it was Beetlejuice. Almost immediately, he burst out in hysterics, jabbing a red tipped finger into her startled face, " It's a very big deal! Especially when you're as big as a house! Then I'm _quite_ sure it'll be a big deal, Lyds!"

" Oh, ho, and you're one to talk, eh?" she retorted, poking him gently in the stomach. Beetlejuice's laughter cut quickly, his face sour and unappreciative of her witty observation. Lydia, though, gave a haughty little laugh, placing her hand to her lips, " At the very least, Beej, you should cut back on the chocolate sauce, less you be unable to fit through the door. Wouldn't that just be a _shame?"_

" It's a _shame_ you're already dead, because I can't _kill_ you," he sneered back, shoving his hand into her face. Lydia continued to laugh as she was pushed backwards into the opposing armrest. Beetlejuice cast her a dirty look, crossing his arms with some difficulty over his curved stomach. That did nothing to help the fitful giggles that came from the rosy face of the Goth. He rolled his eyes then, motioning for her to go on, " Keep it up, Lyds, and we'll see who's laughing when we get out of here,"

" Awww. . . he's sensitive. . ." she cooed out, clasping her hands together. The look she got was venomous enough to drop a living being. Sensing it best to stop before he tried to do in a dead woman, Lydia cleared her throat. There was a few seconds of silence before she turned her head to gaze at Beetlejuice's stomach. He didn't fail to notice her stare. Glaring, he snatched up the pillow and smacked her in the head with it, " Hey!"

" There's more where that came from if you don't quit it, Babes!" he hissed, although there was an edge of amusement to his voice. Rubbing the back her head, she gave him a frustrated glance. They exchanged dark looks for one second longer before she snorted into the back of her hand and he just outright laughed. Pointing at her face again, he choked out his insult, " You look so stupid with that glare on! You look like you just saw Claire naked or something! You think that's gonna make me apologize or somethin'?"

" Oh, well, you certainly don't look much better! You could never look scary if you wanted to! Big mean poltergeist my butt," Lydia snickered under her breath, running a hand over her mess of hair. The sleeve of her stolen jack slipped a couple of inches off her shoulder. Absentmindedly, she hiked it back up. Slowly, then, rubbing the fabric, she looked over at her still laughing lover, " Hey, Beej?"

" Y-yeah?"

" If. . . if we're gonna be parents. . . do you think we ought to pick out some names, or something?" she muttered, idly glancing between his stomach and the wall. The last thing she wanted was to get caught staring at that particular location again, for fear Beetlejuice would actually lose his temper this time. He didn't notice, however, as he waved his hand in the air.

" Eh, there's no rush, Babes. We still got two months. Let's do it some other time. Preferably when I'm not around," he airily stated, rolling his eyes at such a feminine task. Lydia, though, pouted, clearly not sedated by his dismissal. Beetlejuice ignored her expression by scooping up the bottle of chocolate sauce and sucking down a considerable amount. The entire time, she sat beside him with an eager, hopeful look on her grinning face, " What?"

" Oh, please, Beej, it'll be so much fun!" she assured him, waving both hands in the air as if that could somehow help her case. Not believing it for a second, the ghost gave her bored eyes and a half smile that immediately made her own smile falter around the edges.

" Lyds, it's three am. Nothing could possibly be fun at three am," was his answer, much to her dismay. Seeing no other way of going about this, then, Lydia let out a loud fake sob and made a mad grab for his arm. Beetlejuice jerked out of her reach, though, which only made she smile that coy little smile she was well known for. A look of pure horror had crossed his paler then normal face.

" If you don't agree, I'll just cry until you do. You don't want that, do you?" she sneered in a playful tone, twirling a lock of her raven hair around her pinky finger. The ghost looked like he was about to snap something when her lower tip trembled in a threatening sort of manner. His hands shot up into the air in surrender.

" Oh, alight. . . can't _possibly_ be as bad as it sounds. . ."

* * *

Three hours later, what could be called dawn had risen around the floating prison. Inside the wooden fortress, two ghosts were engaged in a heated argument over the future names to give the child within the belly of one. Lydia protested how strongly opposed she was to anything remotely manly while Beetlejuice flat out refused to hear of anything resembling something feminine. While they screamed at one another, the time trickled by almost unnoticed. They had started out on a decent foot, until Lydia had scoffed at the suggestion of 'Buddy' and Beetlejuice gagged on 'Sophia'. From then on out, they had been in a furious deadlock. The longer they went at it, however, the worse things got. The lack of sleep was beginning to wear on both undead. Knowing that there was little to no hope, then, the Goth pressed her fingertips to her forehead with a loud sigh. She held up one hand to stop her lover, which he only conceded to do when she stressed his name out into five sentences.

" We're not getting anywhere. . ." she growled through gritted teeth, her dark eyes shadowed from the sleep deprivation. He wholeheartedly agreed by putting down her attempt to saddle his child with a name like Beatrice. Lydia gave him a nasty look, " Look, we need to get to bed. . . let's. . . do this in the afternoon or something. ."

" But I was _winning_,"

" You weren't winning anything. There's no chance of our child being named Trevor. That name is ugly. I much prefer Gwendolyn or Dominique," was her curt response, her voice incredibly final. Despite her tone, though, her future husband was not about to wave the white flag. He rolled his eyes and waved away the very notion of the idea, " What's wrong with Gwendolyn or Dominique? They're beautiful names!"

" Yeah, and a death sentence. Kids'll torture them. Plus, I hate 'em. Not gonna happen, Babes," he informed her, rubbing the side of his stomach when the baby kicked. Grinning at her, he pointed to the swollen curve of his middle, " See? They agree with me. No disgusting foreign names,"

" Fine, then, what about Lenore? Or. . . Lilith? Or something pretty like that? Those names are plenty lovely and no one would make fun of them," Lydia launched right back at him, before realizing that he was coaxing her back into the battle. Shaking her head roughly, she made an 'X' with her arms. Beetlejuice utterly ignored the signal to cease as he started in on a rave about both her latest names. She hurried to cut him off, " No more, Beej! I need to take a break! I'm exhausted! We _need_ to get to sleep!"

" Wait, wait! I got one more!" he exclaimed, grasping his hands out in front of him. He used his best tricks to give her a begging look that would work her every heartstring. In her tired state, Lydia didn't feel up to arguing with him any longer. Sighing, she motioned for him to continue, " Okay. How about Apple?"

" Apple?" the Goth repeated, her nose bunching up in curiosity. Beetlejuice nodded enthusiastically, his grin widening until it was stretched from ear to ear. His positive reaction did nothing to help the uneasy feeling in Lydia's stomach. However, she had to admit the name was a step up from his previous suggestions. Deciding to give it a chance, she rolled it around in her mind, tilting her head from side to side. Finally, she gave a small nod, " You know, that's not bad, BJ. Apple. It's strange, pretty, and just rolls off the tongue. Apple. Little Apple. Our baby Applesauce. Aw, Beej, I think it's adorable,"

" I knew you would," the ghost proudly announced, rubbing his knuckles over his chest in a rather arrogant way. Lydia smacked at his arm, regardless of the smile playing on her semi puckered lips.

" Yes. Apple. Apple Ju-" Lydia's voice caught off instantly when she heard the child's potential full name. As soon as it did, though, Beetlejuice chuckled softly, then started to outright laugh, his joke finally making itself known. He was shot an outrageous look as her jaw dropped at the sheer cruel irony he had been attempting to weasel past her, " _Beetlejuice!!!!_ I am not naming our child Apple Juice! That is the most. . . insensitive thing you've said all night! How can you even laugh about that! That is so mean!"

" Oh, relax, Lyds," he struggled to say, desperately trying to quell his own laughter. He was quit ineffective at doing so until Lydia whacked him in the shoulder with some considerable force. Beeltejuice idly rubbed the sore spot as his lover glared daggers at him, although the effect was lost on him, " She'd be a Juice. She'd have a great sense of humor. Not like she's getting any of your attitude. Hell, she'd probably just go by AJ if she didn't like the jokes. I went by BJ when I was little 'till I warmed up to Beetlejuice,"

" But. . . no! Absolutely not! I will not have my daughter named after a juice box!" she snapped, jerking away from him and pulling herself off the couch. She gave him a dark glare that was most certainly enhanced by her own exhaustion, "We are not naming our child Apple! Or Grape! Or anything else that becomes a food product when paired with your last name! End of story!"

" Hey! It's not like this'll warp 'em, or anything, so I don't see what the big deal is! I was named after a bug and I turned out just fine!" he yelled at her as she started to storm out of the room in frustration. His comment, however, made her spin around on her heel. She shot him another look that was half hidden by her tangled web of hair.

" And that's supposed to make me feel better? You're purposefully trying to play a prank on your own child! That will most certainly warp them!" she shrieked almost hysterically, pointing off in a random direction. Beetlejuice gawked at her, then just waved off her assertion with a roll of his eyes. Letting out a growl of a sigh, she marched from the living room to the bedroom, ending this fight before he could get going. Her last words, though, carried quite well for the thin walls, " They're already getting your genes, Beej! I'm not going to doom them anymore then they already are!"

" What's _that_ supposed to mean?!" Beetlejuice called after her, cupping his hands at his mouth to amplify the sound unnecessarily. The only response he got was the door slamming shut and her literally screaming good night. He just gave the wall the finger as he snatched up his discarded bottle of chocolate sauce, " If she thinks this is over, she's got another thing coming. I'm naming _my_ child Apple,"

With that, Beetlejuice nodded as he took a long swing from the bottle. He knew he would fight Lydia to the second grave to get his prank to see the light of day. The problem was then his previous one, of their future children and pregnancies. Seeing how his love had retired to their quarters, he was left alone in the still morning. Again, his thoughts returned to that secret longing of his to be the one baring the children. He knew he was ready to fight to have his daughter named Apple. He just didn't know if he was ready to fight to be the next one pregnant.

He also knew which one mattered the most.

* * *

The names Lenore and Lilith were suggested by Mad-Hatter-LCarol.

The name Apple is the work of Spiderjuice.

Thanks a bunch guys for the suggestions!!! Love you!!!


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